i will

Okay few things I wanna cover, better list them first because when I get into one I might forget the others.

* Summer class
* Extreme work suckage
* How writing goes
* Another urge to make a website

School is easy. Basically I had my first summer class this morning. It's small. The teacher has the craziest chalk board writing--by that I mean that she writes fast as hell, but it's all very neat and straight, the letters bold and easy to read. The class is going to be easy--it's like geometric concepts up through 8th grade with an emphasis on ways of teaching them. Which is nice. I'm only concerned about getting bored or deciding I can afford to miss too many classes.

Also, since I'm in summer classes, I can go to the gym! I'll have to make use of that. I've been seriously slacking lately.

( And Hooters dumps another load of crap on my head. )

( Writing, or more accurately, worldbuilding. )

( Writing community idea. )

Um so yeah. Danny's nearly done listening to Mistborn. The first one, that is. It's exciting. He didn't like it much at first, and he still thinks it's kind of slow I think, but he really likes the characters now. He said if we can find the other two to download, he'll listen to them too.

He came to visit me on my crap work night. I really appreciated it. He can be so sweet. And he brought Dennis and Heather, and Dennis tipped me $20 on a $30 bill, which was also really sweet and made me so appreciative of our roommates. We have our issues at times but we're all really great people.

All my final grades posted but ARHU318 (Writers' House). The prof for that sent me an email asking for the introduction I forgot to put in my final portfolio, which makes me feel even more stupid and anxious about my potential grade in that class; it was in the instructions, I just missed it. Gah. I mean, since I wasn't there the day she assigned it (and with an excused absence, no less), maybe she'll give me some leeway. I wasn't the only one who forgot it either. But I still need to reprint my portfolio for Johnna because apparently she needs it in 12pt Times.

Anyway, I did scrape an A- in French, so she must have curved the grades a bit (omg thank you). So that's two As and two Bs on my more weighted classes. In fact, one of each for my two 4-credits and one of each for my two 3-credits. ARHU318 is only a one credit. I'm not going to hope for an A. I was not an A student in that class this semester, even forgiving her lack of a syllabus. But a B shouldn't be too much to ask for. I feel like you'd have to really fuck up to get a C in a Writers' House course.

They cancelled one of my summer courses due to lack of enrollment. I added Junior English to try to make up for it, but I'm waitlisted. I added myself to two of the waitlisted sections and I'm first on each, so it's reasonable to hope I'll get in; surely at least one student will decide they don't want to pay for the class and drop out, right? So the only thing I'm really worried about it the fact that MATH212, the cancelled class, is a prerequisite for MATH213, which I'm also enrolled for. I hope they still let me take it. It's not my fault the prereq was cancelled. And I doubt there's really anything learned in 212 that I can't pick up just from taking 213. They're the same concept, just 212 is for teaching more basic math and 213 is for geometry-type-stuff. I emailed my advisor to let her know what's going on and ask her advice.

Oh, and it seems like no one's hiring but restaurants. Justin talked to his manager for me at Safeway and introduced me, but Safeway has a hiring freeze on currently; the manager said they're trying to shuffle current employees around before hiring new ones since some stores are understaffed but others are overstaffed. But he also said that no one wants to move, so they're having trouble; no one wants to drive too far to work. Starbucks isn't actively hiring. Heather said her work is hiring because a lot of their girls went home for the summer, and she said that she thinks I could teach a summer camp with no problem; if she says so, I'll believe her. It's a little intimidating since she works at a place where they coach gymnastics, and she used to be world-class. But she said she'll talk to her boss and ask for me. She also said starting is $9/hr while training. And it sounds like I could get at least semi-decent hours. So here's hoping, but I won't find out until she gets back from wherever she went with Dennis this weekend. It's crazy how great my roommates are though. Justin and Heather both so willing to help. I know I'm a bit of a shut-in, kind of on the antisocial side, but they're still so helpful.

People can be so wonderful.

Also, I'm reading Warbreaker, Sanderson's free e-Book. It's interesting; his worlds always are. I think he did a better job in Mistborn of introducing names of places and concepts more gradually and naturally, but I'm curious about the world and the magic system, so I'm along for the ride. He's releasing it in book form for sale in early June; I'll almost certainly buy it, if only to support him. Maybe I'll buy Elantris too and give it another shot.

So. My Comm TA fixed my paper grade; that's the yay. I just finished studying for my comm final. I don't think it'll be too rough assuming he doesn't suddenly change the format to short answer rather than multiple choice, haha. Meh.

Work is driving me up the wall. I really want to quit. I tried again at Fridays today and the manager told me to come back tomorrow when the GM is there because he vaguely remembers that she was interested in me. I'm not too hopeful though. Fridays hours are just too long for me. They only have a swing shift on weekends. I'm not working until 2 am weeknights, particularly not this summer while I have 8 am classes all week. I also went to Starbucks but the two I went to are not actively hiring. Tomorrow after my final I might go try some of the ones near campus. It's really what I'd prefer. The money isn't always as good but it's more regular and less heartache. Or maybe I can just do Starbucks (if they even hire me) through summer session I and then try Fridays again for summer session II when it'll be more manageable. Or maybe there's another restaurant I can try. Damned if I know. Maybe I'll apply at Cornerstone and the Thirsty Turtle or something. Anything.

( As for what happened at work that was the final straw to break the camel's back. )

So yes. Bucketloads of just shit.

Costs continue to mount. There's a baseline fee for each summer session, which means taking three classes this summer (stretched between both sessions) will be about $3,000. So it'll probably end up equalling the cost of going for another year between all the different summer classes I'll have to take. If I wasn't so intent on graduating on time, I'd have second thoughts about not just adding a fifth year.

But it's okay. It'll be worth it. And at least I won't be paying room and board.

I signed up for summer classes and the majority of my fall classes today. I need to be stamped for more credits in order to add my final class, but that's not so bad since I don't know yet whether that class will be a fiction workshop or the third required math class. I have to admit... I'm probably only so adamant that I'll take the fiction workshop if I get in because it's later in the day so I won't have to get up as early. But I'm thinking I may have to skip it even if I am accepted. I'll probably talk to Johnna about it, because I don't want to be rude by dropping it, but it's probably best. And to be honest, writing for my writers' house workshop that semester may be enough work.

Tomorrow I have trivia at Hooters. I bought a lab coat at the student union so I could dress as a doctor; the theme is health trivia. I still need to make the questions. Corporate will be there so Jordan's got high expectations.

Also I just realized my next French quiz is during my followup appointment for my eyes. I'll have to talk to her tomorrow about taking it another time. Maybe Wednesday, or earlier on Friday. Still need to cancel the one on Bolling. I've postponed that enough.

Tchah. Getting tired.

So I made $148 today after giving my trainee $25 because one of the tables left a crazy tip because they liked her so much. Jordan made me head wait. He wants me to do both trivia Tuesday nights and Are You Smarter Than A Hooter Girl on Thursday nights. Meh.

I have a lot of laundry to fold. Bleh.

So I finally added pictures to my gallery again. Some of them are really cruddy quality because I just cropped them in Preview instead of making them pretty in Photoshop, but I guess I don't really care. I'm not going to do my usual three preview pics, just one, but whatever.


Two new galleries (you have to go to the next page of galleries to see them). Also, a couple pics added to Photography, Hooters, and Campus Squirrels. I think that's it.

I'm writing! Today at least, no telling how long it'll last. But I'm working on rewriting Blood and Heat. I'm doing it with paper and pen.

Work still sucks. I'm scheduled as a double for UFC. If I end up needing to stay, it'll be 15 hours. Blah.

Loving the crap out of Danny. There are the little things, like in any relationship, but when it comes down to it... I get this super warm, fuzzy, hardly believing feeling whenever I think about the fact that he actually wants to spend the rest of his life with me.

I need more friends.

So I made $97 today, $90 after I paid for a salad and tipped Steph (because I forgot to order food while I was still clocked in). Not bad at all but I'm still worried about money and I don't work again until Thursday. And Jordan is still a prick, I think we're starting to grate on each others' last nerves.

On the brighter side I've forgotten to mention that a few days ago Danny bought me a book. A book he liked that I'd never read. xD After seeing previews for The Tale of Despereaux he decided to listen to the audiobook, and he liked it so much that he wanted me to read it. It was a really nice little present, really, having him recommend me a book so emphatically instead of the other way around. And it's a really cute book too, but I haven't finished yet because I've been taking my time.

♥

I've been watching the Biggest Loser. I know some people don't do reality TV at all on principle, but it's the only one that I feel isn't retarded. It's a good message and a good goal. And it's inspiring too. You can't watch an episode and then feel right about pigging out or skipping out on the gym. It helps keep you going. I'm going to the gym today with John. Yesterday we were supposed to but I ended up not being able to, so instead I worked on my Carmen Electra DVDs and used the rower at home. Plus a couple other things.

Today I was supposed to work but I called out... mostly because I was feeling very sick, in and out of the bathroom, but also because I hardly slept because I was so upset with Danny. He actually let me leave the room to go sleep in the game room. He didn't come get me. The only reason I came back was because when Justin started moving around getting ready for work, I'd barely gotten to sleep and it woke me, and it was too hot to try to get back to sleep in the game room.

Just a lot of little things added up to make me feel down, and when I tried to talk to him about it he got upset with me. I can't stand that. He wants me to express myself better but he won't freaking listen and doesn't even care. I was so pissed. He made fun of the fact that I don't have as many friends who could be bridesmaids now as he does friends who would be groomsmen, he got angry at me for saying I hadn't seen Gladiator recently enough to recognize one of the actors from it (said I was being "condescending" to him because he had seen it recently), got angry at me for, I don't know, not having the appropriate response to his comment of he's not sure who he'd make best man at the moment in time, he'd just go with me.... what's the appropriate response to that, anyway?

Whatever.

( Sex TMI )

Obviously he didn't want to talk about it in the morning. But he was more... I don't know, gentle, he pet my back without me having to ask, stuff like that, so I took it as something of an apology and let it go. For now at least. But it's not fair that he be angry with me for trying to tell him I'm upset. I know I'm not that articulate when I'm upset and I know he may not understand why I'm upset but he's supposed to fucking give a damn.

And the one night when he was upset with me and he stayed up all night, couldn't sleep, because he was upset and wanted an apology, argh it makes me so mad because it's exactly how I feel all the freaking time but he just doesn't fucking get it.

I do love him. It's just, it's just... not fair.

I've been working quite a bit. Full time restauranting isn't terribly fun. I work a double tomorrow and Saturday, though Saturday I'm going to leave at jumpstart if possible so I can eat dinner with Danny, Alli, cousin Justin, Grammy, Gene, and possibly Matt. If I can't, it's not a huge deal, it'd probably be nice as just blood family. But they all invited me from the start, so it's not like I'm unwelcome or anything.

But yeah. We also had Danny's coworker over. I have a lot in common with her and we could be great friends. She's 17, and she reminds me a lot of me in certain ways when I first met Danny. She works at Starbucks, and she works with Danny (though at Gamestop), has about as much experience with alcohol as I'd had when I met him, and other similarities in interests and such. Which was a serious weird factor at first since it's like... if Danny didn't have me now, would he start up the same sort of relationship with her? Well, the age gap is much steeper there, and he insists that they'd fight way too much, and I know he finds me more attractive. But the similarities are still kind of unnerving.

I'm not at all worried, mind you. I trust him completely.

Anyway we had her over and gave her champagne. Just champagne and not that much, but she ended up getting sick all over the futon and floor, and god the smell is resilient! What an awful stench to come out of such an innocent, unassuming body! I think it's the Doritos she had since it bears a striking kinship to the smell of non-barfed Doritos, but of course barfed Doritos smell horribly gross instead of yummy. Danny has outlawed them for at least a month.

Aside from that, we've had some fighting, some of which left me really depressed and doubtful, but we basically ended at the conclusion that sometimes he's going to want to play video games or fuck with his computer even when I'm there and I'll have to find something to do for myself while he's doing that. Which, I mean, should be perfect incentive to write, huh? What really got me was his concern over my decreased interest in video games. I just don't like playing Gears as much anymore, or other games for that matter. I'm going to try to get back into some of them at least while I have the time over winter break, because it's an important bond.

Meh.

Also, worked out with Heather today, lots of fun. She taught me some cool exercises and stretches. Yay former gymnast as an exercise buddy!

( Bleargh. Hooters is getting ass-retarded again. )

But anyway, I'm seriously thinking about trying to become a personal trainer. They have a class for it at Maryland, it's 8 weeks, two days a week, only $160. Not for credit, but it does give you all the materials you need to study for ACE certification, plus a 20% discount on taking the ACE certification. I'd do that instead of trying to buy a rowing machine, haha, since I can't in good conscience spend money on both.

Anyway, the class starts February 16th, and it meets Mondays and Wednesdays from 4 to 6, which is something I can manage. Then in the middle-end of April they have open interviews for joining the gym staff, so I could apply to be a personal trainer (they website says personal trainers are students who are often either certified or in the process of getting certified). I think I'd stand a better chance at that then I did before just going for something general and not even getting there early. I'd get there so early this time... Anyway, I'd be done with the personal trainer class, though whether or not I'd have taken the certification yet I have no way of knowing.

What I'm wondering is how much student personal trainers make. I know the rate for one training session is $32 for a student and $40 for a nonstudent, but I imagine the gym takes a good chunk of that. It'd be good, though, as something extra on the side. It's not like a real job where you get scheduled in four hour chunks or more; I'd just be available something like Tuesdays and Fridays before class, Mondays and Fridays after class, and maybe Sundays. No interference with my planned Hooters schedule at all (assuming I'm still working there). And if they had room, I'd gladly also work as weight/fitness staff.

It'd be awesome though. It'd give me extra motivation to go to the gym. For starters I'd already be there for class next semester and then for sessions assuming I get the job... and also, you can't very well be an unfit personal trainer!

I think that once the gym reopens I'll schedule a fitness test thing. It's $20 and it's with a personal trainer, so it'd be good on multiple levels. I could talk to the trainer about the job, see what my level of fitness is like, and probably get some good tips for staying healthy and fit. Woo!

Of course, the interviews in April would be for summer and fall work, which means my current schedule wouldn't apply. But that's okay. I'll endeavor to make the best schedule possible for work next semester. I may even be able to have class only three days a week because by then I'll be done with French. We'll see.

But I'm so excited! I just need a chance to talk it over with Danny.