.286 x can someone explain me to me?

[karriezai]

So I'm having trouble with myself.

Danny's becoming really good friends with a girl he works with, a girl I could also be really good friends with, but for some reason it won't stop bothering me. I trust him, but it still won't stop bothering me, and I don't completely understand why. I get aspects of it... so let me go into it.

Help me stop freaking out please?


Her name is Morgan. She's 17. She works at Starbucks and at Gamestop with Danny. We have a scary amount in common. The working at Starbucks thing, the video games thing (though she's more into them currently than me, closer to where I was when Danny and I first started going out), the drawing thing, even some fanfiction stuff... other qualities that can't be pinned down, but even Danny admits that sometimes he's struck by something she does that reminds him of me.

She's becoming like his best friend. Yes, he's 26 and she's 17. I think it's more of a brother sister thing even than best friends right now; they do kind of act like siblings, what with the hitting and the making fun of each other.

So here are a couple things. Yes, she and I could be very good friends, but she and Danny are better friends because they see each other all the time -- they work together and she hangs out there sometimes even when she's not working.

I trust completely that right now Danny would never think of doing anything with her and she'd never be interested in doing anything with him. I think part of my concern is what could change in the future... as she matures and maybe decides her big brother's pretty hot, for example. Not that I think she'd go after him, she's too nice a person, but chemistry can still happen, can't be helped.

Here's a part of it. I believe Danny's too shallow for his own good. Part of my comfort at the moment is I know he's not attracted to her physically, he finds me more attractive, but if she's as much like me as she seems, she might start going to the gym and taking better (or should I say girlier) care of herself. Also, it was Danny himself who has assured me several times that guys and girls can't just be friends. The guy's always open to the possibility of sex if she offers it. I'm not saying I believe that's necessarily true and he may well have changed his mind since becoming friends with her but the fact that he's the one who believed it so vehemently is a... worry, I guess.

Little things keep bothering me. Like how he's willing to drive out there any time to get her or spend time with her when I'd stopped feeling comfortable asking him for favors like following me to campus so I don't have to walk fifteen minutes to my dorm. Like how she can get away with doing things he'd be angry with me for, like drawing a penis on his arm in sharpie at work. Like how they smack each other and Danny's form of physical affection has long been pretty rough, like squeezing the breath out of me when his team gets a touchdown.

At first Danny was very careful to always make it like Morgan was becoming friends with me and he was just the form of transport because he was worried what people at work might think. Apparently they've accused them of flirting before. But today he wants to hang out with her alone after she's done with school. They're going to bring me my work out clothes, then come pick me up when I'm done with school and the gym so we can hang out another hour or so before we take her home.

I'm sorry but it just weirds me out. I don't think they're attracted to each other, not in the slightest, and maybe it's dumb to worry about what could happen, but it just reminds me so strongly of the beginning of Danny and my relationship. I'm not Yuka and I don't for a second think that that relates at all; he cares about me way more than he ever did her, and I'd never cheat on him or string him around the way she did. But he works with Morgan the way he did with me, they goof around the way we did, and he drives the same distance or even more to go see her as he did with me. So the resemblances just freak me out of my mind I guess.

And I don't want it to bother me. Like I know I'd get along with her terrifically but for some reason I still resist the idea of hanging out with her for long periods of time, like I guess I don't want it to take away too much alone time with Danny, when I see him alone all the time. So it's selfish. And I know I'd have fun if we all hung out. And I'd be more comfortable with it than them hanging out alone.

He told me last night they'd even had the conversation about how they don't want to make me feel weird, they want to make sure it's not weird to me. "Is that weird?" he asked. Yes, I replied. Hell yes. Even weirder.

Get it out of my head ;_;

Comments

[eotheod.livejournal.com]

This is obviously seriously bothering you. You NEED to talk to him. Sit him down and tell him all of this. Even if you're just reading exactly what you wrote here. Don't let him interrupt you and go, "Baby, it's not like that." Make him listen to you all the way through. Make sure he really listens to everything that's been bothering you. Really discuss these things.

Ok. As for what I personally think, that all is a bit weird. The fact that they talk about not wanting to make you feel weird is weird. They know they spend too much time together and they know everyone thinks they're flirting, but he's apparently unconcerned? He might not know about how much it's bothering you. Hopefully he just thinks that you're ok with it because he thinks yall are friends. Hopefully you explaining this to him will make him snap out of it and remember who he's loving and who should be his priority.

[keptawake.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much -hugs- I'm sure it'll all work out. I'll talk to him tonight after we take her home.

[eotheod.livejournal.com]

Good luck. *hugs* Keep me posted. I can be on aim if you need me too. :)

[keptawake.livejournal.com]

I talked to him and I feel a lot better. He gets what I'm feeling and he's willing to work with me. At first he seemed a little turned off by my request that they not hang out just the two of them for a while, but I guess once he got how much it was weirding me out he came around.

[eotheod.livejournal.com]

Oh good. I'm so glad he listened to you. :)

[lucidwanderer.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that is a bit much. You recall my situation with Christine and her best friend -- I definitely felt like he had a higher priority than me at times. Of course, the situation is different; he's developing this really close friendship after going out with you for a few years.

Have an honest and frank talk, and be sure not to hold back with the way you feel. If you feel like he should be scaling back on this friendship, that you'd feel more comfortable if he had more guy friends or more friends that were local, than his asking about it should mean he's open to changing things. Coworker situations can be delicate because of all the time they spend together already, but you are more significant by far.

[keptawake.livejournal.com]

Thanks :) I don't want them to stop being friends... but I think that, at least until I'm closer to her, I'd rather if we all hung out together rather than the two of them hanging out alone. Does that sound fair? One of my biggest worries is being the jealous girlfriend :(

[yourcowboymouth.livejournal.com]

i seriously think you and i are a lot alike when it comes to relationships - it seems that you really ARE NOT the jealous type at all. so thats why it's weird, i think, that this is bothering you

i mean seriously - this is A LOT in common.. everything.. i mean, it's hard because when you open your mouth, it sounds like pure jealousy, but shit, i'd be fucking weirded the shit out too. i'm sorry that i don't have better suggestions except to talk to him. like the person above said - the fact they talk about not wanting to make you feel weird is reeeeeeeeally weird.. i mean what the hell??

good luck <3 just know you aren't being crazy

[keptawake.livejournal.com]

Thanks :) I talked to him and I feel a lot better now. He understands how I feel and why it's so weird.