blargh.

[karriezai]

Learned today that Morgan asked Danny if he would consider leaving me. Me being the person I am, what disturbed me most about this was the simple fact that Danny's just now telling me even though I asked him last week if he'd told me everything since I know his tendency for leaving things out. I'm a little weirded out that Morgan would ask it, but not angry. I guess I kind of get it. I wouldn't do it personally, mainly because my thought process would go something like this: It would hurt her so much... but I want to know... but do I really want to be with a guy who'd leave his girlfriend of four years like that...? Best not to ask. Roughly.

If I'm mad at her for anything, it's for blaming her ruptured ovarian cyst (that the doctors said is stress-induced) on Danny. What an evil thing to do. I felt and feel horrible for her being in pain and having to go to the hospital, but you don't blame that sort of thing on someone else. It wasn't Danny's fault. And who could have known she would react so strongly to the whole thing?

Anyway, it's fine. I told Danny I need to be able to trust he's being honest with me, especially when I ask him if he's left anything out. He said there were more feelings than his involved and he didn't think it was okay to tell me that and betray Morgan's trust, but I told him, "That's something I deserve to know." And it's true. Even though I'm not mad at her over it--even if I had been mad--it's something he should have told me. She's my friend too, and I have the right to evaluate our friendship based on her willingness to take my boyfriend. -sigh-

He also said I would have been angry and blamed him despite the fact that he told her no. In response I laughed. "Let me ask you something. Have I, during this whole thing, gotten angry?" "No." "I'm not angry now, I wouldn't have been then. You should have told me." I basically made it clear that in the future I want him to tell me everything.

Note to self: need to find gelatin-free Jello to make Jello shots for Koontz's party on Saturday.

Comments

[wasteofpaintxx.livejournal.com]

I really applause your calmness and logic in this situation! Seriously, dude, it's really amazing, and Danny should appreciate it. I'm not a jealous person what-so-ever (being long-distance for four years definitely helped rid any kind of jealousy I had haha), but if Pete had been in this situation with a female friend of ours, she would have been booted out of the picture. I know that sounds a little harsh, but, in the few experiences I've had with remotely similar situations, her feelings won't change as long as she is still interacting with Danny, and I find it hard to believe that she is going to stop asking those questions and putting Danny in those weird situations. It seems that her asking if he is going to leave you is basically asking if she has a chance with him, and if she really knew you guys as a couple, she would already know that answer. And, in a way, I find that a little disrespectful, maybe? I don't know. And blaming her ruptured ovarian cyst on him is FUCKED. If you care about someone, you don't make them feel guilty about something like that. I would think that she is attempting to make him feel guilty so that maybe he would feel like he owed her something afterall.
But I don't know Morgan. If you think she is a sweet girl, I'm sure you are an excellent judge of people and that she really is. I guess while half-way writing this, I forgot that she is also a friend of yours, so I know that probably makes it a little different, too. I think my harshness in this situation would only occur because I expect the worst in people occasionally, especially when their motives or views of me are unclear. And as logically as I'd like to think I am, that isn't always the case. Obviously, you handle these situations a lot better than me! Haha. Just wanted you to know that I've been reading and wanted to give you my crappy two cent opinion! I'm very glad you guys are so trusting of each other and not letting a situation like this tear you apart.

[keptawake.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It's funny, I don't have many girl friends--she was one of the very few--so it's nice to get some feedback on this from someone who isn't, well, my boyfriend haha.

At the moment, we're keeping our distance from Morgan. If for no other reason than that she clearly needs the distance if she thinks we are (or if we actually are) causing her stress-related illness. And Danny tells me he doesn't believe men and women can just be friends (at least not if they're close friends), so he thinks it's best if he backs off entirely. I'm fine with that. At first I didn't want them breaking off a good friendship if they didn't have to, but now it seems clear she's really hung up on him, so maybe it's for the best.

It's weird... I'm aware that your typical girlfriend would be extremely pissed off by all of this, but that never hit me. And staying calm throughout has been really nice, to be honest. It makes everything so much easier.