.271 x suckfest
30/12/08 19:37![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
karriezaiWell.
The front car in the accident yesterday called USAA to file a claim, but so far the woman in the middle car hasn't called and no one's been able to reach her. Which is fine with me, the guy's damage was super minimal. Apparently it was like the screws on her front license plate scraped his paint up some, which he only called for because his car's pretty brand new.
And um.
My parents called to tell me that next year they won't be able to take out any more loans for my college. They'll keep up with the ones they already have, but that's all.
Which, I mean, will probably be manageable. I won't be in the dorms anymore, so my costs will be drastically reduced. My financial aid will probably go up since my mom went from making $26/hr to making $10/hr between tax periods. I'll try to be more serious about looking into scholarships... since I have good grades in college, I may be able to find something. Tuition and fees without room and board (but including things like the gym and such) is currently at about $4000 a semester, $8000 a year. I have a $5000 a year scholarship. Not bad. I think I can handle $3000 a year in student loans just paying interest. I may even spring for a meal plan, I'm not sure. I'll talk to some financial advisors at school and see what they say.
It seems like my parents are there for me less and less these days. I mean, I'm sure if I had some real crisis and needed them they'd do all they could to help, but I don't know. I can just already see myself drifting further and further away from them. I don't feel any need to go visit them. I'm sure I will once a year or so out of duty, but... Are they going to come to my graduation? My wedding?
Maybe I'm being too harsh. Maybe the contrast between them and Danny's parents is just too stark to see things clearly. Danny's parents are ridiculously giving to him and to me as well, and they also have way more security to give so freely than my parents. I understand that. My parents have two car payments now, and my current student loans, and credit cards, in addition to the normal costs of living. Apparently Danny's parents only really have their mortgage; their cars are paid for, they don't have credit card debt, even Danny's court fees and such they paid for already and didn't take out any loans or anything. And they both have good jobs. Sue's worked for the government since she was 18 and is now pretty high up in NIH. Jon works in the auto industry... something like selling/installing custom auto parts. Sun roofs, in-dash GPS, leather jobs, stuff like that. He was even out of work for a couple months when he had to quit his job of years and years because the new owner was a jackass and they weren't particularly worried. Of course his experience got him a similar job very quickly.
I don't know. It sucks. I'm hungry. Maybe I should just go get some food.
ETA: Also, Danny was a dick last night. Completely grumpy, angry at me for every little thing. It started when we were discussing the accident and how my car fishtails. He insisted that it's impossible for cars to fishtail when the road isn't wet/icy, and got very angry with me for disagreeing quite pointedly since, well, I was in the damn car and I know what happened the five or six times the stupid thing has fishtailed, wet and dry. I tried my best to be more upbeat, change the subject, salvage the night, but he wouldn't have it. He went to bed pissed off because when I went into the bedroom from the bathroom when Justin was walking to the bathroom to go pee, Danny happened to be naked and he was afraid Justin saw him. Hello, accident? Yet he was pissed. Like I shouldn't have opened the door, and when I asked what was I supposed to do, wait in the hall when I didn't even know he was naked? he responded all juvenile like, "Well, you shouldn't have opened the door so far."
This morning he was all better, but insisted on having sex despite the fact that he chafed the shit out of me Christmas Eve and it hurts like a motherfucker even when nothing's touching it, much less having sex. I explained it to him but he gave me those damn puppy eyes and kept asking/rubbing/etc until I couldn't refuse anymore because, fuck it all, I'd do anything for that asshole. Oh, and he choked me this morning. Thought it was funny. You know, choke hold, like wrestlers do? I didn't enjoy it. I scratched the shit out of his arm and then neck trying to make him let go and then when he finally did collapsed crying, and at first he sounded mad at me for being upset about it. I couldn't breathe, and I have a phobia about not being able to breathe. Maybe not a serious phobia, but a phobia all the same. Later he apologized, he said he hadn't realized I couldn't breathe, it's just supposed to squeeze the two major veins in the neck or some shit. But he's an idiot. He better fucking treat me nice to night, I'm just not in the mood.
The front car in the accident yesterday called USAA to file a claim, but so far the woman in the middle car hasn't called and no one's been able to reach her. Which is fine with me, the guy's damage was super minimal. Apparently it was like the screws on her front license plate scraped his paint up some, which he only called for because his car's pretty brand new.
And um.
My parents called to tell me that next year they won't be able to take out any more loans for my college. They'll keep up with the ones they already have, but that's all.
Which, I mean, will probably be manageable. I won't be in the dorms anymore, so my costs will be drastically reduced. My financial aid will probably go up since my mom went from making $26/hr to making $10/hr between tax periods. I'll try to be more serious about looking into scholarships... since I have good grades in college, I may be able to find something. Tuition and fees without room and board (but including things like the gym and such) is currently at about $4000 a semester, $8000 a year. I have a $5000 a year scholarship. Not bad. I think I can handle $3000 a year in student loans just paying interest. I may even spring for a meal plan, I'm not sure. I'll talk to some financial advisors at school and see what they say.
It seems like my parents are there for me less and less these days. I mean, I'm sure if I had some real crisis and needed them they'd do all they could to help, but I don't know. I can just already see myself drifting further and further away from them. I don't feel any need to go visit them. I'm sure I will once a year or so out of duty, but... Are they going to come to my graduation? My wedding?
Maybe I'm being too harsh. Maybe the contrast between them and Danny's parents is just too stark to see things clearly. Danny's parents are ridiculously giving to him and to me as well, and they also have way more security to give so freely than my parents. I understand that. My parents have two car payments now, and my current student loans, and credit cards, in addition to the normal costs of living. Apparently Danny's parents only really have their mortgage; their cars are paid for, they don't have credit card debt, even Danny's court fees and such they paid for already and didn't take out any loans or anything. And they both have good jobs. Sue's worked for the government since she was 18 and is now pretty high up in NIH. Jon works in the auto industry... something like selling/installing custom auto parts. Sun roofs, in-dash GPS, leather jobs, stuff like that. He was even out of work for a couple months when he had to quit his job of years and years because the new owner was a jackass and they weren't particularly worried. Of course his experience got him a similar job very quickly.
I don't know. It sucks. I'm hungry. Maybe I should just go get some food.
ETA: Also, Danny was a dick last night. Completely grumpy, angry at me for every little thing. It started when we were discussing the accident and how my car fishtails. He insisted that it's impossible for cars to fishtail when the road isn't wet/icy, and got very angry with me for disagreeing quite pointedly since, well, I was in the damn car and I know what happened the five or six times the stupid thing has fishtailed, wet and dry. I tried my best to be more upbeat, change the subject, salvage the night, but he wouldn't have it. He went to bed pissed off because when I went into the bedroom from the bathroom when Justin was walking to the bathroom to go pee, Danny happened to be naked and he was afraid Justin saw him. Hello, accident? Yet he was pissed. Like I shouldn't have opened the door, and when I asked what was I supposed to do, wait in the hall when I didn't even know he was naked? he responded all juvenile like, "Well, you shouldn't have opened the door so far."
This morning he was all better, but insisted on having sex despite the fact that he chafed the shit out of me Christmas Eve and it hurts like a motherfucker even when nothing's touching it, much less having sex. I explained it to him but he gave me those damn puppy eyes and kept asking/rubbing/etc until I couldn't refuse anymore because, fuck it all, I'd do anything for that asshole. Oh, and he choked me this morning. Thought it was funny. You know, choke hold, like wrestlers do? I didn't enjoy it. I scratched the shit out of his arm and then neck trying to make him let go and then when he finally did collapsed crying, and at first he sounded mad at me for being upset about it. I couldn't breathe, and I have a phobia about not being able to breathe. Maybe not a serious phobia, but a phobia all the same. Later he apologized, he said he hadn't realized I couldn't breathe, it's just supposed to squeeze the two major veins in the neck or some shit. But he's an idiot. He better fucking treat me nice to night, I'm just not in the mood.