.o9o x more family/college problems...

[karriezai]

I'm not gonna go too deeply into it because I'm tired, but I got into a sort of fight with my mom today... talked to Danny later, and the basic essence of it is that she feels like the moment something's going on with Danny or his family, I'm out the door to go over there. She said she feels like I'm taking advantage of her. Like maybe she shouldn't take out the loan to help me pay for college because what if I choose Danny and his family over my classes?

And that's never been a question for me. I'm going to school one way or another; sometimes I think it'd be easier if my parents had nothing to do with it, because then I could file for independent status and get an assload of financial aid, and then they couldn't try to make me feel guilty at every turn because they're helping put me through college. Anyway, school is very important to me. I want to succeed in life. If I can get an A, I'm getting an A. I'm not going to allow my grades to slip if I can do better. Hell, Danny wouldn't let me jeopardize my education.

And I've been a good kid. I've been Honor Roll my entire life, I've never gotten in real trouble, I've never even tried drugs, I've never stolen anything -- nothing. Now, I haven't been the best kid when it comes to chores, but I haven't been the worst either.

I think it's because she feels Danny is more important to me than her, than my family. And it's not that, exactly... it's just that I'm already at the stage when I shouldn't be living with my parents. I should be living with Danny. I'm already at that point when I'm building my own family, just like my parents did when they got married. I live at home because I have to, but I spend as much time as I can manage with Danny because at this point I can't live with him.

Ah. So tomorrow I have to go to the clinic to get my well woman's check up, get my birth control subscription renewed, and go buy my books at Maryland. So I'm going to sleep here in a few minutes.

Comments

[mlle-nout.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. There's just a point when you feel you shouldn't live with your parents anymore. Its a bit like a "nesting" feeling. I want to have my own place and decorate it, cook what I like for a change, buy things for my own place... I don't have a boyfriend, so I can't relate to that.
But at college, you'll be in a dorm, right? Even if you have to share it with others, it's still away from your parents, right?

[keptawake.livejournal.com]

Well yeah, it's definitely the same feeling, I think it's just that getting so close to Danny brought it out really quickly in me, really strong... and it also creates more conflict because it gives me a place to actually go and get away from my parents, and I don't think they like it all that much.

But yes, I'm so excited for the dorms, ridiculously excited. It might actually be kind of hard, at least until November when I get a vehicle, in that I might get to actually stay with Danny less... but it'll work out I think.

[keptawake.livejournal.com]

I don't really use AIM anymore =( it's not installed on my computer or anything. I might reinstall it after I reformat the comp in preparation for taking it to college. I use MSN though.