wow.

Okay, told Eric I don't like him, and it's going okay. I'm fine with meeting him as friends, and if he wants to get together again in that capacity, fine. But looking for a love interest after two days of having known each other period? No.

And I realized something. I've been so disappointed with Tim lately, but I realized that he's changed a lot these days... but I still miss the Tim I knew two years ago. I miss him so much sometimes. Very rarely these days... but when I get to thinking about it... huh. It's strange. Well, maybe not so strange.

Sometimes I can't figure myself out. Usually I understand myself pretty well, but other times... I don't know why I could make out with Joe but Eric threw me off so badly. I hardly knew Joe, too. Then again, we flirted the whole evening before ever touching, so there was already that between us. It wasn't a ... dry touch. I guess. It's confusing.

I miss having a significant other. But I'm not the sort of girl who goes actively looking. If I meet a guy, especially these days, I do kind of feel him out. There are so few guys in my area, it's just a hormonal thing, I guess. But I definitely don't seek out guys on the internet. And I wouldn't go to clubs trying to get laid or make out or anything. Trying to figure this out is just going to knot my brain up.

I have a good feel for guys, I think. So far I've been able to tell if a guy's flirting, if he's interested at all. Like Joe, I knew he was flirting. And I could definitely tell how Eric felt. And I could tell that Eric's friend had absolutely no interest in me. I know CJ used to crush on me, though I haven't seen him enough lately to be sure if he still does. And Nico used to like me, but he doesn't anymore, not sure what happened there... maybe it became uncool to crush on your big sister's friend? Ha. Or maybe he realized what a dork I am, that's cool too.

Hum. I dunno.

x]

I just called Tim's house and talked to Daniel, Tracy, and Greg -- it was great to talk to them again, so great. I've missed them tons. And they sounded so excited to hear from me -- well, the first two, at least. x] Greg was just Greg. But it was good. I want to see them again. Hopefully in late July/early August...

But apparently Tim has gotten even scarier than his myspace suggests. :/ Blah. I just wish he'd be himself, but for some kids that's too much to ask... go figure.