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karriezaiI spent the weekend with Danny. He was sick Wednesday and Thursday. I wanted him to come see me between school and work Friday, and at first he wasn't going to. I hadn't seen him since Monday and missed him something awful, so it depressed my mood for a lot of the school day. Mostly I felt bad because I wanted to just ask him to come see me, because I knew he would if I told him I really wanted to, but I didn't want to push him into coming if he really didn't want to (especially since he was sick). But he felt a lot better Friday, and I finally just asked him to come see me, and he picked me up from school. We hung out until I had to go to work.
Ah, work. I put in my two weeks' (actually more like nine days') notice Friday night. If I liked the job, I would work through the end of May, but it's just not worth it. I really don't much care for that job. I suppose I was just spoiled by Starbucks, because that company really does take care of its workers. I hated working for Brandy, but Starbucks was great. Bugaboo, though, just doesn't care as much for its workers. And they're crazy, and kind of spiteful. For instance. We don't take reservations at Bugaboo, but people can call ahead an hour or so before they plan to arrive and get their names put on the waitlist to shorten their wait. The idea is, we go down the list in order, so if when they arrive their name is the top one on the list then they'll get the next available seat. The difference between that and a reservation is that for a reservation, a table is held for you so you know you'll have one when you get there, but if you call ahead you still have to wait for a table to become available.
But Ms. Gwen, who was a host and is training to be a floor manager, says that we have to make call-aheads wait five to ten minutes when they arrive no matter what just so they don't assume it's like a reservation and they'll always get a seat as soon as they arrive. So Friday this guy called ahead and when I answered the phone, there was no wait, so I told him his name was first on the list, so when he arrived he would get the first available seat, but there still might be a wait because it wasn't a reservation. When he arrived, Ms. Gwen and Michelle, another host, insisted that we make him wait. And you know what? They fucking forgot about him and ended up making him wait twenty to thirty minutes. They were doing stupid shit like that all night. By the end of the night whenever Michelle insisted we do something stupid I just told her, "Whatever, but if they complain, you're the one who's going to deal with them."
So yeah, I'm pretty sick of that place. Next week will be my last week working there. I really didn't want to go to work Saturday, so I called out "sick" for the second time in my life. The funny thing is I have the worst luck. Both times -- once at Starbucks and now once here -- my dad chose that day to stop by work to see me and almost get me in trouble. He didn't either time, but of course that meant I was busted with him. He said if I'm gonna play hookie from work, let him know first. I thought I'd be in a shitload of trouble, but apparently only minor trouble.
I stayed Friday and Saturday night with Danny. Today he worked at 7:30pm, meaning we got most of the day together before he had to take me home. We saw Hot Fuzz Saturday morning, and it was hilarious. I liked it better than Shaun of the Dead because it actually had a plot... though the fact that I was slightly drunk when I watched Shaun of the Dead and don't remember the end too clearly might have something to do with that. But yeah, Hot Fuzz was great.
We walked around the mall, got me some flip-flops. There was a huge art fair or something where a bunch of schools had artwork displayed in the mall, and it just reminded me of Danny's card and how much I can't wait for our anniversary.
We looked up drink recipes and Saturday night we made this one that's one quart vodka, two quarts Mountain Dew, and two packets of black cherry Kool-Aid. Then we watched He-Man Masters of the Universe and played a drinking game. It was a lot of fun.
Then he decided he wanted to move his couches to make stadium seating in his room, so we went ahead and moved them into position so he could get cinderblocks Sunday and raise the back couch. That unblocked this little door that the black couch had been sitting in front of the whole time I've known him. I've never seen him open it -- he hadn't gone in it in years. So he was going through it and found all this stuff from his childhood that got him really excited... and apparently I got overaffectionate in my fairly inebriated state. He snapped at me to stop trying to kiss him every three seconds, and I got upset. I went back and sat on the futon (the back couch) and watched him go through his childhood stuff. I listened the whole time but I was upset, especially since it seemed like he was ignoring that I was upset.
Once he finished looking through his stuff, he sat on the front couch and I could tell he'd gotten irritated. I said, "I'm sorry, I was listening the whole time, but" -- and he turned on the TV. So I trailed off because clearly he wasn't interested, and we just sat there in silence for a while. Finally I got up and walked around. I sat down and looked at the card I made him for anniversary (I'd brought it because his dad said he'd get the necklace engraved for me and I just brought both) and then went and leaned against the wall next to where he was sitting on the couch. I told him I was gonna go in the hot tub, and he said he'd had the same idea... so up we went.
We ended up having a very serious talk in the hot tub. It made me feel stupid because I guess he really showed his age in the way he talked to me. It was very adult. ...I dunno. I told him all I wanted was a kiss, because the whole time I was upset I was thinking if he'd just kiss me I'd feel better, because that's why I got upset in the first place -- he pushed me away and said no, stop kissing me. I felt stupid. Especially when he said he'd given me kisses since then, and I didn't remember -- and still don't! I swear he didn't, but whatever. It was a bit of a fight. A small one, I guess, but a fight. For a while I just listened and smiled, and tried to really think about what he was saying. Some stuff I felt was true... other stuff not so much. He said I try to be someone else when I'm drunk, which I felt wasn't true. He said I always end up upset when I drink, which is true. Some of the time I felt like I was getting lectured, like by an adult, not a lover. But mostly...
I appreciate the way he handled it. Because he was obviously frustrated, but he didn't really get angry with me. He told me he loves me, every part of me, just the way I am. That I don't need to be insecure, because apparently I am or seem to be when I'm drunk.
Now on the other hand I reminded him that he's told me that he gets insecure and likes to be reminded that he's the only one for me. He was pointing out how I seemed insecure, so I was just pointing out that the pot shouldn't call the kettle black, I guess. Although I'm not insecure... it's weird. I trust him and I can see how he loves me. I guess maybe I was just overly emotional and... I dunno.
Anyway, he also mentioned that times when he doesn't wanna hang out naked with me even though he was always telling me that when he's in his basement, he's naked... like when we were playing the drinking game, he wouldn't undress just because he said he felt like wearing clothes, so I told him fine, I'd just wear clothes too... he told me out in the hot tub that that's because he doesn't like his body and feels uncomfortable just hanging out naked with me. (I told him he's stupid.) He said he feels like I'm perfect, like I have nothing to be insecure about at all, but he doesn't like his body. And I told him everyone has things about themselves that they're insecure about. So he said fine, he wouldn't be uncomfortable anymore because he's not uncomfortable when it's just him and I'm like an extension of him.
Which reminds me. At some point during the drinking game he was saying he'd have a gold wedding band because it's tradition. And I said I wanted silver. He said he preferred silver but gold is tradition, but I could have silver. And I told him then he'd just be matching someone else because it's tradition for wedding bands to match. He told me he'd give me four years to convince him to get a silver ring. (Why four years, he asked; not being an idiot, I responded, college...) And then he said it doesn't matter because I get to buy it, because he buys mine and I buy his. I didn't need to convince him then, I pointed out, because I'd just get him silver.
It was a good talk. Another one of those that makes me warm inside because we're both thinking ahead, we both just wanna be with each other four and ten and more years from now.
Anyway, so today we went on a bike ride to get ice cream and then around his neighborhood... good exercise... just had a generally good time and I went home at six.
I love that man so much.
So now I'm off to run cable into my room.
Ah, work. I put in my two weeks' (actually more like nine days') notice Friday night. If I liked the job, I would work through the end of May, but it's just not worth it. I really don't much care for that job. I suppose I was just spoiled by Starbucks, because that company really does take care of its workers. I hated working for Brandy, but Starbucks was great. Bugaboo, though, just doesn't care as much for its workers. And they're crazy, and kind of spiteful. For instance. We don't take reservations at Bugaboo, but people can call ahead an hour or so before they plan to arrive and get their names put on the waitlist to shorten their wait. The idea is, we go down the list in order, so if when they arrive their name is the top one on the list then they'll get the next available seat. The difference between that and a reservation is that for a reservation, a table is held for you so you know you'll have one when you get there, but if you call ahead you still have to wait for a table to become available.
But Ms. Gwen, who was a host and is training to be a floor manager, says that we have to make call-aheads wait five to ten minutes when they arrive no matter what just so they don't assume it's like a reservation and they'll always get a seat as soon as they arrive. So Friday this guy called ahead and when I answered the phone, there was no wait, so I told him his name was first on the list, so when he arrived he would get the first available seat, but there still might be a wait because it wasn't a reservation. When he arrived, Ms. Gwen and Michelle, another host, insisted that we make him wait. And you know what? They fucking forgot about him and ended up making him wait twenty to thirty minutes. They were doing stupid shit like that all night. By the end of the night whenever Michelle insisted we do something stupid I just told her, "Whatever, but if they complain, you're the one who's going to deal with them."
So yeah, I'm pretty sick of that place. Next week will be my last week working there. I really didn't want to go to work Saturday, so I called out "sick" for the second time in my life. The funny thing is I have the worst luck. Both times -- once at Starbucks and now once here -- my dad chose that day to stop by work to see me and almost get me in trouble. He didn't either time, but of course that meant I was busted with him. He said if I'm gonna play hookie from work, let him know first. I thought I'd be in a shitload of trouble, but apparently only minor trouble.
I stayed Friday and Saturday night with Danny. Today he worked at 7:30pm, meaning we got most of the day together before he had to take me home. We saw Hot Fuzz Saturday morning, and it was hilarious. I liked it better than Shaun of the Dead because it actually had a plot... though the fact that I was slightly drunk when I watched Shaun of the Dead and don't remember the end too clearly might have something to do with that. But yeah, Hot Fuzz was great.
We walked around the mall, got me some flip-flops. There was a huge art fair or something where a bunch of schools had artwork displayed in the mall, and it just reminded me of Danny's card and how much I can't wait for our anniversary.
We looked up drink recipes and Saturday night we made this one that's one quart vodka, two quarts Mountain Dew, and two packets of black cherry Kool-Aid. Then we watched He-Man Masters of the Universe and played a drinking game. It was a lot of fun.
Then he decided he wanted to move his couches to make stadium seating in his room, so we went ahead and moved them into position so he could get cinderblocks Sunday and raise the back couch. That unblocked this little door that the black couch had been sitting in front of the whole time I've known him. I've never seen him open it -- he hadn't gone in it in years. So he was going through it and found all this stuff from his childhood that got him really excited... and apparently I got overaffectionate in my fairly inebriated state. He snapped at me to stop trying to kiss him every three seconds, and I got upset. I went back and sat on the futon (the back couch) and watched him go through his childhood stuff. I listened the whole time but I was upset, especially since it seemed like he was ignoring that I was upset.
Once he finished looking through his stuff, he sat on the front couch and I could tell he'd gotten irritated. I said, "I'm sorry, I was listening the whole time, but" -- and he turned on the TV. So I trailed off because clearly he wasn't interested, and we just sat there in silence for a while. Finally I got up and walked around. I sat down and looked at the card I made him for anniversary (I'd brought it because his dad said he'd get the necklace engraved for me and I just brought both) and then went and leaned against the wall next to where he was sitting on the couch. I told him I was gonna go in the hot tub, and he said he'd had the same idea... so up we went.
We ended up having a very serious talk in the hot tub. It made me feel stupid because I guess he really showed his age in the way he talked to me. It was very adult. ...I dunno. I told him all I wanted was a kiss, because the whole time I was upset I was thinking if he'd just kiss me I'd feel better, because that's why I got upset in the first place -- he pushed me away and said no, stop kissing me. I felt stupid. Especially when he said he'd given me kisses since then, and I didn't remember -- and still don't! I swear he didn't, but whatever. It was a bit of a fight. A small one, I guess, but a fight. For a while I just listened and smiled, and tried to really think about what he was saying. Some stuff I felt was true... other stuff not so much. He said I try to be someone else when I'm drunk, which I felt wasn't true. He said I always end up upset when I drink, which is true. Some of the time I felt like I was getting lectured, like by an adult, not a lover. But mostly...
I appreciate the way he handled it. Because he was obviously frustrated, but he didn't really get angry with me. He told me he loves me, every part of me, just the way I am. That I don't need to be insecure, because apparently I am or seem to be when I'm drunk.
Now on the other hand I reminded him that he's told me that he gets insecure and likes to be reminded that he's the only one for me. He was pointing out how I seemed insecure, so I was just pointing out that the pot shouldn't call the kettle black, I guess. Although I'm not insecure... it's weird. I trust him and I can see how he loves me. I guess maybe I was just overly emotional and... I dunno.
Anyway, he also mentioned that times when he doesn't wanna hang out naked with me even though he was always telling me that when he's in his basement, he's naked... like when we were playing the drinking game, he wouldn't undress just because he said he felt like wearing clothes, so I told him fine, I'd just wear clothes too... he told me out in the hot tub that that's because he doesn't like his body and feels uncomfortable just hanging out naked with me. (I told him he's stupid.) He said he feels like I'm perfect, like I have nothing to be insecure about at all, but he doesn't like his body. And I told him everyone has things about themselves that they're insecure about. So he said fine, he wouldn't be uncomfortable anymore because he's not uncomfortable when it's just him and I'm like an extension of him.
Which reminds me. At some point during the drinking game he was saying he'd have a gold wedding band because it's tradition. And I said I wanted silver. He said he preferred silver but gold is tradition, but I could have silver. And I told him then he'd just be matching someone else because it's tradition for wedding bands to match. He told me he'd give me four years to convince him to get a silver ring. (Why four years, he asked; not being an idiot, I responded, college...) And then he said it doesn't matter because I get to buy it, because he buys mine and I buy his. I didn't need to convince him then, I pointed out, because I'd just get him silver.
It was a good talk. Another one of those that makes me warm inside because we're both thinking ahead, we both just wanna be with each other four and ten and more years from now.
Anyway, so today we went on a bike ride to get ice cream and then around his neighborhood... good exercise... just had a generally good time and I went home at six.
I love that man so much.
So now I'm off to run cable into my room.