karriezai: ([asoiaf] dark wings dark words)
...but my updates are.

The aftermath of the me-Danny-Morgan thing. It's really over this time. No. Really. )

Erm, I gave up on NaNo. With the stress of conflict with Danny and school put together, it just wasn't doable this month. Or at least... I didn't have the energy. I have a lot of stuff due this week. In math, the second part of the portfolio. The science lesson apparently got moved back, so maybe not that. In classroom management, I have stuff due and overdue; of the three assignments, I can probably get two done without going back to my internship first. In reading, a book club reflection on a book I haven't read yet and won't get until later this week, so I'll be asking for an extension probably. In language arts, two case reports and my mini lesson report. Which I forgot to have my mentor fill out the rubric for. Damn. Guess that portion will be late.

Blah. Anyway. Life.
karriezai: ([asoiaf] wolfgirl)
OKAY.

I realized yesterday that Danny and my four-year anniversary is in less than two weeks. So we talked about what we wanted to do. It's too cold for anything major like sky diving, which we've mentioned wanting to do for a long time. And hot air ballooning is, um, stupid expensive. Of course I try to go overboard :)

So Danny suggested that we just have a nice night out and stay in a hotel. And we decided to stay at the hotel closest to Fur nightclub in DC. I booked the night already last night on Expedia. Wasn't even that expensive! $99 at the Courtyard Marriot. If we want to park there it'll be $30, but it's also close to Metro--that'll be a game day decision.

I'm super behind on NaNo. I don't want to give up, but being this behind with my crazy schedule doesn't look good. Especially with all the homework I have to do. I'm not even sure what's due this week. I haven't looked, which is bad considering my internship days are already through so if I had to do anything there, that ship has sailed. OH, plus, my story idea for Mirage Games is due... I think next Friday, and that's 5,000 words minimum by itself. Need to start on that one soon.

Went to the zoo yesterday morning for math methods. It was kind of lame. I thought we'd be basically imitating some sort of math project you can get kids to do as they explore the zoo, but we spent the whole time pent up in a classroom in the visitor's center getting a presentation on educational aids the zoo has to offer teachers and schools. A woman from Bridging the Americas showed us a bunch of dead stuffed birds. Blah.

So I have this idea... )

suck.

2/11/10 20:35
karriezai: ([asoiaf] bugger everything)
Have not written yet for NaNo. Don't really have the energy. Kinda depressed, even. Had another talk with Danny last night, this time about his lack of physical affection. He made it sound like I'm asking for too much. I don't think I am, but whatever; I decided to back off and let him come to me when he wants to for a while, and then decide if that's often enough for me. If I can give it a good, honest week of me not touching him unless clearly invited, it should give me a good idea of whether I can tolerate this business.

Looked up more houses. Feels kind of silly at this point but I have to look forward, and we can't live here much longer one way or another.

I'm pretty scared of all the serious talks we've been having lately. Danny told me last night... what did he say? Something like he loves me but he can't be physically affectionate the way I want him to be, and if that's a problem then he doesn't know what will happen... or something. I don't know. I'm afraid of where this is leading. It just seems very one-sided. He says he loves me and I'm the most important person to him but I'm the one who's always done all the changing and trying. Maybe that's not fair--I mean, before me he was out at the bars with his friends all the time, but I'm not sure if that was a change just because of me. He might not go back to that now regardless.

I told him I want to take him out to eat tonight and he said sorry, he just ate Chipotle. And he just called to ask if it's okay if Carol and Lena come over to try out the Kinect. I mean... I like them, they're nice girls, and if I wasn't feeling low I'd think it was a great idea. But I'm not going to say no. There's no point in me turning them away to mope, after all. I told him I don't care either way.

School is a tangled mess too. Our science methods professor just told us that anyone who missed class has to write a six-page paper relating this article he gave us to what we've seen in class. And a classmate just told me there's an additional assignment if you've missed more than one day, which I have. We don't have time for that sort of crap. I looked up the university attendance policy and it said the professor needs to put their own participation/how attendance affects grades policy in the syllabus and/or let us know at the beginning of the year, which he didn't. The syllabus just says attendance is important, let him know ahead of time if there's a conflict with getting to class so arrangements can be made... you know, the basic if you miss a due date or assignment because of an unexcused absence, you don't get credit sort of deal. And I haven't missed anything like that. So it shouldn't be allowable, and if it comes to it I'll address it with the university. Preferably if other students will back me up.

And I just haven't felt like doing anything. I let my assignments slide until the last second. Today I was running late to class because I stayed at home an extra fifteen minutes to finish an assignment, and on the way to school I rear-ended another car. The light turned green and the two cars in front of me started to go, but then all of a sudden decided to stop. Well, my brakes aren't so great. I didn't stop fast enough. The driver in front of me was a Hispanic guy, probably no insurance, since he just told me it was fine and didn't take my insurance info. Seeing as my car's already a bit of a mess, there was nothing but a bit of paint damage, and I don't want my insurance record marked up again, I was fine with this. And it was almost lucky since it was a reason to be late to class.

Blah. Life. Hate it.
karriezai: ([asoiaf] westeros wench)
I just ordered my NaNo shirt for the year and put in my donation. I had a (very brief) moment of "Why would I do this when I secretly suspect I won't make it this year with everything going on?" but I squashed that feeling. This year will be perfect. Reasoning why? If I can do it this year, I can do it any year. And YES, I CAN do it this year.

I'll give myself this one, tiny bit of leeway: since this year is hard, I'll allow myself to write whatever the heck I want. In other words, it doesn't just have to be on one story. If I get stuck but feel the itch to work on my Zelda fanfic, so be it--as long as I get that day's 1,667 words, that's what's important, right? Right. I give myself this leeway because I feel so uncertain about Homesake at the moment. I'm finding it very difficult to settle on a POV. First-present or third-past are my typical fallbacks, but I'm thinking I might try first-past. Usually it feels so artificial to me because who remembers in so much detail that it feels like it's happening now? But I've loved plenty of books in first person past, so I know it's doable. Once I get into it, it might feel easier than first-present, even.

But anyway, that's my main concern: I don't 100% feel Homesake. But I sure as hell will try my best to steam my way through it. I plan to use my fifth graders ruthlessly to do so. I'm going to post daily/weekly updates (varying based on what days I'm actually at the internship, since a full week falls in the middle of November) and tell my kids to harass me if I don't meet my goals, basically. :) It'll work, right? I think having them asking me questions might help motivate me to keep working on Homesake so that I can tell them what has happened since last time I saw them. That's the goal, anyway.

I'm behind at homework. I'm going to have to super BS my next big LA assignment because I forgot to get all the writing samples I need. I'll have to use what I have plus some I filch off the internet. Blah. And this weekend isn't going to help. I did a bit of homework this morning, but I still have Math Module 6 (I started that by posting a question in the YWP teacher's lounge so I can use teacher experiences with math teaching as my research), the drafts of the first three parts of my Social Studies ATA, the actual response to LA Case 7 (though at least I read the case), and the previously mentioned writing instruction assignment for LA. The first two are due Monday. The second two are due Tuesday. Oh, and mustn't forget Classroom Management, which I think we have Tuesday this week--have assignments there too D: Damn.

lalala

5/10/10 21:18
karriezai: ([nano] plot bunnies)
Ooh. Pretty LJ header.

I'm currently watching Ever After and avoiding things I should actually be doing, as per usual. Such as: I should be scanning in my driver's license to complete my egg donor application. ($10,000 for my eggs if I'm accepted and matched to a recipient!) I should also be piecing together materials/plans/crap/etc. for the upcoming assignments in my methods classes that I need to translate into class with my fifth graders. I was going to try using the first chapter of The Hunger Games for my reading DRA, but I think I'll change it to a short story from one of my two collections. Which I'll need to bring with me tomorrow to plan with Alice.

For my reference, I need to get the following done by the end of this week (my full week at Whetstone): collect two writing samples each from the two students I chose for profiles in Language Arts; complete my DRA for Reading with a small group of kids; pick at least two kids for Math (at least one with a recorded disability of some kind) to assess for understanding in a concept area and plan steps toward addressing any gaps in understanding; conduct Social Studies interview with students; complete midsemester PBA; get photocopy of Language Arts packet from one of the other interns.

ALSO. Print contract for Mirage Games, as if I haven't let that sit long enough. And finish up this egg donor application process. Sooner that's done, the better.

I waver in confidence with the development of Homesake as a young adult novel. I have a name now for all three of Grey's swords (and thus all three of the novels). I'm unsure about this "Grey" thing now because he will start the book as Roan now that I'm starting with his acceptance into the King's Steel. He will still want an alias, but will he be honest with Kayden? Or will he think it's best to just introduce himself as Grey so they aren't overheard in private using his real name?

Also. Stuff going down with roommates making life more interesting/stressful. Dennis' brother and sister-in-law decided to raise the rent. Dennis doesn't have to pay anything (he never has, but at first he made it sound like he did), but Danny, Justin, and I are each expected to pay $350. For Danny and Justin, that's a $100 bump. For me, $200. For Danny and me, it's not worth it. Rent plus electric will be $900 for the two of us. So we're looking very seriously into moving out, even have cousin Justin on board to rent a room with his girlfriend so we can afford a better place. It's the down payment that worries me at the moment. Egg donation could really help, but only if by some miracle I get the fastest process possible. (I really should scan my license in.) There are some nice houses for sale in a really decent area for around $150,000. Alone, we couldn't afford it, but with roomies... definitely.

And if you're wondering why $900/month isn't worth it to live in a house, let me explain: it's a house with no central air or heat, with a roof that leaks, with a driveway that never gets plowed in the winter when it snows, and with various other defects. (They still won't give us a key to the garage. Where do you get off charging that much for this shithole and not letting us use the garage?)

Blah.
karriezai: ([iron man] dual identity)
Oh where, oh where has she gone?

-pokes self-

I feel like... it would be an awful shame to stop writing altogether until November, even if I did get through Homesake during/after the month. But I don't feel motivated right now, even to sit down and put together plot events or character profiles... even though these are things I need to do now that I've changed the story around so much.

Maybe I should write something else. Or maybe the break would be good. It seems so horribly long, a month and a half, but...

At least I've done homework.

I went to a writers' meetup in Silver Spring yesterday morning. It was alright. I'll probably try it again, but I'm not sure if it's quite what I'm looking for. I have next Saturday off again, so it's not as if I have anything better to do.

I went to Brandon Sanderson's book signing at the Bailey's Crossroads Borders in Virginia Wednesday night. I picked up a copy of The Way of Kings. I also got Danny something called The Ninja Handbook but I think I'm going to return it since he hasn't touched it despite me reminding him, so obviously he doesn't care and it'd be better to get my $15 back. And yesterday after my writers' meetup I got this young adult fantasy, Eon, which I'm almost tempted to read before The Way of Kings but probably won't.

Did I post already that Mockingjay made me bawl? I think so. Suzanne Collins will be in the Arundel Mills Books-A-Million on Thursday, September 23rd, and I am so going. Shane is reading The Hunger Games. If he likes it and his parents let him come, I'll take him. If they won't let him come, I'll get him his own signed copy. I would think it'd be a good, educational-type field trip, but it's also his Back to School Night, so that might take precedence.

Erm. Yeah.
karriezai: ([kh] [soriku] stunned kiss)
50187 / 50000
(100.37%)

YES. Although NaNo claims that it's 50,088. But that's okay too! And I'm really excited to keep going. And then eventually edit it. And I'm thinking it will really be two separate books, like I thought originally-originally (as in early November 2005). I mean, apparently it's a misconception that fantasy novels should be like 150k. 100k is more normal, or even less. This one could be, I dunno, 70, 75k? I wonder what that compares to? We'll see. And that's after edits. There's a buttload of extra crap in there right now.
karriezai: ([nano] novelist in the making)
48018 / 50000
(96.04%)

I'm soo close. I could probably win tonight if I wanted but I'd rather try to have a good time with Danny. He really upset me not long ago and I'm hoping he'll make me feel better. He can be such an asshole, and he's so caught up on appearances, where I'm not in the least. Sometimes we clash because of it.

But with less than 2,000 left, I'm sure I can win tomorrow if I put my mind to it. If not, I don't work Monday, so I'll have plenty of time that evening. I'm scared that the validator will give me a smaller word count than Word so I plan to pad my word count out a little anyway. Nearly there!
karriezai: ([asoiaf] song of fire)
43390 / 50000
(86.78%)

Day ahead going into Thanksgiving. YES. So I'll try to write anyway of course, but if I can't find time, I'm okay.

And and and. I forget. Oh right. I'm going into the scene with the sirens, so I should have plenty of material next I start!
karriezai: ([hp] snape's penis)
42193 / 50000
(84.39%)

Crossed 40k today! And I'm a day ahead again! I WILL WIN THIS YEAR BITCHES! I'm so excited. I donated another $10 today for the donation drive and actually got my halo. I wish there was an option to get your halo without having your name on the brought to you by page, because that's what confused me the first time. And I still haven't gotten my t-shirt, though I haven't checked at Dan's parents' house yet and his shirt should have arrived too. (An unrelated shirt.) Umyes. I think I may donate again and get another shirt when I WIN.

We think Bear has mange, and at first we were worried because it didn't look like Dennis was going to take him to the vet, but he said he scheduled an appointment Friday. So that's good.

Err yeah I guess that's it.
karriezai: ([avatar] sweetheart/bitterheart)
39454 / 50000
(78.91%)
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karriezai: ([avatar] katara icicle up the ass)
So yesterday I didn't write, which put me behind for the first time since the second of November. SADNESS. But so far today I've caught up to within 200 words of the daily goal. I have to get ready for work, stop and deposit a couple checks on the way hopefully. Tonight Danny has a UFC so I should have time to write more. And tomorrow I only work 10-2 (or well, I haven't seen the official schedule yet so we'll see, but that's last I heard) so I'll have time to write then too, although I have homework to do as well. Blah homework.

I'll try to edit this later with a new word meter. I'd add one now except I'm planning on writing more today, so yeah.
Tags:
karriezai: ([lolcat] light reading)
31539 / 50000
(63.08%)

Got a little ahead again. Not as much as I'd like, but it's Danny and my anniversary, so some concessions must be made ;D Three years! We had dinner tonight, and tomorrow night we're going to the midnight premiere of New Moon.

But I left off in the middle of a fight scene and someone's about to die, so it should be easy as hell to pick back up tomorrow and write!
karriezai: ([asoiaf] prophesy)
So I fell behind. Or rather, I fell back to the bare minimum; I only wrote a couple hundred words Sunday and Monday, so yesterday I actually had to write a significant amount to meet the daily goal. I just passed it.

28400 / 50000
(56.8%)

I'm hoping to write a lot today to get ahead again. I don't work this evening; all I have to worry about is folding some clothes, really. So I have plenty of time, I just have to actually use it. Luckily I think I've just gotten over a minor slump into more interesting stuff again, so hopefully it won't be too hard. I'm changing up the story; previously Kayden and Grey were the core two, and when I brought in a new semi-major character I always killed her off before bringing in another. I always felt the timing was off for that and I needed more major characters than just my boys, so I brought Kella in earlier. She'll still die before the next full integration of new characters, though Grey will meet Lena cursorily before Kella's death. It can't be helped. But instead of meeting Malakai and Aura after Lena's death on the ship, Malakai and Aura will conveniently be other passengers they meet on the ship. Not that that makes sense to anyone but me. But I think it will work much better, and that's the important part.

So yes, interesting stuff coming up. Grey will be meeting Lena and her companions tonight (story and real time, lol) while Kayden and Kella discuss the implications of assassins who aren't trying to actually kill them. Then there will be a couple of short scenes to show the passage of time--them sparring, them attending the bardic festival. And then, two days before the ship's to sail, they'll be attacked by assassins who are aiming to kill with Grey (they've eavesdropped long enough to realize he's not Dragonsblood himself) but aiming to capture Kayden and Kella. Kella will be killed in the fray, due in part to underestimating the strength of her power in proximity to Kayden's vial of dragon blood, but mostly because Lena has poor control when she gets angry.

Umyes. Enough rambling.
karriezai: ([witticisms] world ending today)
Bad day for writing. I won't post my word count, it only went up about 700. The test I took this morning that was supposed to take 4 hours took 6, and then work wanted me to come in early because someone didn't show up, so yeah. And now I'm really tired and Danny's already irritated with me so I'm not going to write any tonight, I think.

There's always tomorrow.
karriezai: ([misc] why so serious?)
26160 / 50000
(52.32%)


Past halfway!

Have to get up at 6 for that stupid test. Yes I stayed up too late. Bah. I'll survive. Might even have time for a nap before work, maybe.
karriezai: ([asoiaf] life's not a song)
23939 / 50000
(47.88%)


Will fix later with centering and a title and such.
Tags:
karriezai: ([iron man] dual identity)
22093 / 50000
(44.19%)

I have a 7:30AM test in downtown DC Saturday morning. Not looking forward to that. It cost $245 because I registered late... I knew I needed to take it this semester, but I kind of forgot that there might be a deadline on when to take it. That deadline is Sunday. So yeah. But if I'd registered on time it would've been $170 still, so it's an expensive test. It's the Praxis, and I'm thinking it's like the SAT but maybe a tad easier, so mostly I'm just worried about getting there on time when I'll probably have to wake up at 5AM.

Yup. Very exciting.
karriezai: (Default)
18452 / 50000
(36.9%)

Early class tomorrow, my internship-type one. Have to be out the door by 7am at the latest. Why yes, I am up too late. Again. But I don't work and I'll have a four hour gap between class and the CP write-in, so some of that time will be devoted to a nap.

And money! As in I have none! Life's such a mess right now in multiple ways. But I'm too tired to write more now. And if I wasn't, I'd spend those words on NaNo, obviously.
karriezai: ([avatar] sokkatara omg)
17013 / 50000
(34.03%)

Work early. Up too late. Zombie.
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