Not so much a rant as a rambling, so I'm going to make myself a new tag for just that. Eh... if my train of thought gets bumpy and retarded, well, it's partly because I am bumpy and retarded and partly because I'm searching for good RPs as I ramble.
Okay, so today has been pretty decent. Or, better put, yesterday was. Today has barely started. I did some work on deafen, albeit not much, wrote a little... roleplayed with xen... went and got new clothes and my eyebrows waxed -- which didn't turn out so hot XD She asked me if I wanted my eyebrows thin or just cleaned up, and I said just cleaned up... so if this isn't thin, I hate to see what is. And I think Dad's right and they're uneven. I could deal if my left eyebrow was slightly higher than my right, not vice versa. But at least it's not totally off... just looks like I'm vaguely intrigued all the time -_-; and eyebrows grow back, for once that's a good thing, eh? Anyway, I got cool new clothes. Two new pairs of jeans, pajama bottoms, two big grey shirts to wear as PJ tops -- the one I'm wearing now is fucking awesome, has four little monkeys and under each it says 'hear no evil' 'see no evil' 'speak no evil' 'have no fun' and the last little monkey with the have no fun underneath is like glaring at the other three. I got... I forgot what mom called them, but basically skirt pants. And a red-purple-y wife-beater/tank, and a greenish one, and patterned gauzy tops to match each -- all that for the party tomorrow and any other casual dress things I have to go to ever. And three tees... patterned nicely, no text though, except the one with the tiger says barely legibly 'peace / love' on it. Mmm... got thigh-high black pantyhose to wear with the stuff tomorrow because all my socks are little ankle bootie type things. Hair bands for in the shower, a clip to try in my hair tomorrow. And little penguin and snowman statues to paint for people for christmas -- six, three of each. I already have hemp things to make Ash and Lisa, so I'm pretty set on gifts unless I want to get something special for someone, I suppose.
Which reminds me, Aze suggested that we not exchange gifts for Christmas, and I said we should do something instead. For now the plan is ice-skating/movie/stayupveryverylate. Kinda like me right now. Anyway, sounds like a plan to me.
Mom #2 emailed me finally and she actually got my emails... ^_^ Made me feel all bubbly inside. She sent me pictures of the family. Daniel's grown some, but basically looks the same. Andy can drink! He turned 21! But he looks the same too. And Tim is growing his hair out XD He looks so old. I mean... really. He's 6' now according to mum2, and the hair doesn't hurt even if it does look odd since I'm not used to it. I mean... wow. I miss him again =/ I had a dream about him a few days ago, short but sweet. I was getting on a bus and he was on it, but for some reason I didn't sit next to him at first... but then I had to move up from the seat I took in the back, and he just looked at me, and I sat next to him and leaned on his shoulder. I don't think we said anything the whole dream, it was just... familiar, company... ahhh. I think Grey's getting into my head, that's the sort of dream he would have.
Alright, moving on... deafen. It needs so much work. I have to figure out wordpress and efiction 2.0, both big jobs... particularly wordpress since I've never fucked with it before. Ahhh. But obviously it's possible, lookit all the pretty sites out there who use it with sexied layouts! Ahh, this could prove to be interesting. And fucking annoying. But I'll get through it, I always do. Coding... huh. I suppose I really do like coding. It's not like writing, it's more structured. You can see tangibly if you're doing it wrong, if you've fucked up. Not like writing. But it can also be way more frustrating. Much less freeform.
I think I've come up with a system for dealing with my writing. I love fanfiction because you've got this rigid structure and this idea you want to get out, and you have to write it in such a way that you don't betray the structure you're building from even if you weave twisted webs all up over it. It's still there. It's a challenge, even if the basis is someone else's. So solution: make the rigid frame for my own world. It may take time... gods know it took forever to get Eysuria so solid that it almost feels like this living entity and then also this book set in stone that I can add to and make connections in but not actually change or betray. Anyway, from now on any seedling fanfic ideas I get are going into original fiction. Find a way to connect it in. The challenge of fitting it is so... great. I love mind games, I suppose. I'm working on fitting in Elemental Force in Eysuria, and by necessary proxy parts of LoZ. Wow. Mostly it's steeping in my mind since there are things taking priority... nano, Dragonsbane, deafen. But I dunno. It's great.
Roleplaying... gah. It's gone to hell on neopets. Some AG sites look great, but the ones that do are the ones that require major effort just to understand enough to join. They have these huge complex plots like something I would make, and I realize just how much of a pain in the ass all that detail can be.
I love trying to put new and original spins on rps without going, "That new shit! I are teh more original than you!" I know people are more creative than me. I don't try to pretend I'm going to come up with something no one ever has before. But I do try to make characters that are real and aren't necessarily the rping norm. And I try to play originals to fandom genres in character but also deep. Like real people. Auuggh.
I wanna create so many RP things. Communities. On Deafen, but without making new XMB forums... which probably isn't going to happen, so oh well. I want to make 'The Dark Alliance'. Original rps welcome... but aimed more toward rpers who love to take fandom plots and turn them into these deeper, darker messes than you actually see in the show/book/whatever without totally mutilating the canon. Almost like in fanfiction, like on sycophant hex. You see all this angsty dark stuff... I dunno why, but that appeals to me sometimes. I hate having to hurt characters, make the ending bad... whatever... but it's so real. And so much more fun, more complex.
I'm waiting on Lisa. We're supposed to start an Avatar RP. I want one very badly, but all the ones I've come across suck. Neopets really has gone to shit, there aren't any on avidgamers (if I could use ag1 and they hadn't fucked with these google ad banners, I'd so make one myself), and the proboards/invisionfree ones I've seen are completely lame. Some are well put together, but the roleplaying level there is so low. Lisa can write, at least, I know that for sure. This will be fun, if not dark and angsty... but it's Avatar, I dunno, that show wasn't made to be too dark and angsty.
Someone's been wandering around upstairs, it's scaring me.
So there's the party tomorrow and I'm going to Aze's, huzzah. That also means I'll get next to nothing done on deafen etc, particularly with dad home... but I suppose I'll get some schoolwork done for a change?
I guess I'm done rambling. That was fun.