Okay, so, life. I had my meeting with Suzanne... was both worse than and not as bad as I expected. Tracy thinks I'm behind on school work and I've been taking off days/being late to try to play catch up, and not talking to her about it. Which is far from the case. So, not quite what I expected, but at least she doesn't (exactly) think I'm a huge slacker. On the other hand, Suzanne warned me to expect Tracy to look in on me. Didn't happen this week between MSAs and Tracy having jury duty, but apparently I can expect her to pop in and see if I'm doing everything properly. I mean, I don't have the lesson plan book I'm supposed to, but aside from that... I do what I'm supposed to, so it should be okay.

I gained a ton of respect for Tracy at the seminar today. She let the class rant for an hour about how unreasonable and condescending our reading assessment professor is at the university and gave us advice on how to handle it. Very frank, helpful advice. And she demonstrated yet again how knowledgeable she is about classroom management. She has a treasure trove of random examples/experiences I never in a million years would have imagined. I'll be honest; I let my view of her as a supervisor color my view of her as a teacher. She's a fantastic teacher. She's not even a bad supervisor, she just has certain ways about her that don't mesh with my style, for lack of a better description.

Life is hectic. Danny is amazing through all of it, as I was practically bragging to Katie today. He drove to Whetstone during rush hour yesterday to fix my random flat tire, and drove my car for me today to get it fixed while I was at my internship. The thing with Morgan was hard, but I really think it made our relationship even stronger in the end. I think we both appreciate what we have more. I love the hell out of that man, and he's always showing the ways he cares about me.

My classmates are in a panic over our reading assessment class with Brie; I've had her before and she's crazy and condescending, but I'm making a high A in her class (I've only lost half a participation point overall so far, everything else has perfect marks) and although the upcoming workload seems overwhelming, I know I'll get through it like I always do. I did volunteer to speak to her with a couple other students about our concerns though--based on the advice Tracy gave. Some really great ideas. Approach it as the needs we have in order to get out of her course what we know she wants us to get out of it, like better clarification of expectations on assignments, examples of assignments before they're due instead of after people have fucked them up, and less of a workload. I told Lauren, who's ring-leading this confrontation, that I don't want her to feel we're ganging up on her, so I don't have to come, but if they want the support I'm there.

I also told Katie I'd look over her papers before she submits them if she likes. She's not a writer the way I am, which makes it hard for her. Brie, from what we can tell, is super-biased against imperfect grammar and writing mechanics, so I'm thinking if I can fine-tune Katie's papers she can get better marks.

I have some great behavior incentive stuff to try when I get the chance. I'm thinking I'll order the mailbox thing I want for the classroom, too, even though it's really more expensive than I want to pay for right now.

Big plans for SynTru--another example of money I shouldn't spend but really want to. Assirra has offered to add IP.Blog, and I want IP.Content too. Each is $50. I think they could really work wonders on the site... meh. We'll see how that pans out. Right now we're kind of surveying member opinions to see how popular they'd be if added. Assirra and Zap have worked wonders with SynTru since I haven't had time for it anymore. I'm constantly amazed by their dedication.

Speaking of, I have a piece of feedback due today. I think I'll go do that now.

I kicked the Praxis II's ass. 198 out of 200 on Content Knowledge (Recognition of Excellence notation on that one) and 172 out of 200 on Content Exercises (only needed 150 to pass). I'm done with all my semester work, except I need to send Tracy a resume, and now that I know for sure that I passed the Praxis I need to sign up for the January Middle School Math and Middle School Language Arts versions of the test so I can be certified there too.

I already know I have an A in Reading Methods. I need one more A (assuming the rest are Bs and there are no Cs to worry about) to maintain my 3.2 for my partial scholarship. Now, I've had no trouble maintaining at least a 3.2 so far; in fact, I've made Dean's List every semester but my first. But I slacked a lot this year, so we'll see.

SynTru is taking off again now that I've put it into the loving, dedicated hands of Assirra and Zap. I'm still nosing around quite a bit, but officially my only duty is running the Ezine, which I'm hoping to get out by the last day of January. I reactivated my portfolio on Red Carpet & Rebellion and entered a challenge. I'm hoping I can attract more people to check out SynTru that way; I have the ad banner for the site in my signature.

Ummers. Christmas is coming up and I haven't bought any presents. Well, except the one Danny and I split for his mom. I'm not sure how I'm doing on money since I haven't paid rent for this month yet. I have the money sitting in my wallet, though.

I am in such a slump. I just have no desire to write. Or at least zero motivation. Or, well, I'm not sure how you describe it--all I mean is that no writing is getting done, and I'm super stuck.

I took my final yesterday in MATH111. I skipped SO MUCH class--honestly, out of 28 days I only went for around seven or eight, including exam days. I took two quizzes (got a 10/10 on each) and got some form of participation points for one day, so I'm optimistically hoping that I have 25 quiz/participation points. I got a 95 on the first exam, and I'm not sure about the second exam but I know I got one question set wrong so I'm estimating an 85. IF that is correct, given that I need 360 points to get a B in the class and the final is worth 150... oh crap. Okay, so I'm pretty much guaranteed a C. Bah. That'll be my first C... ever. D: I mean, it's possible I got higher on the second exam, but even still I'd have to ace the final and I know for a fact that I made a silly little rounding mistake that will probably lose me at least some credit on a couple questions.

Blah. Oh well, I guess.

Back to writing... I'm changing Blood and Heat around, putting more focus on Grey and changing the locale to Duos instead of the west. But that involves, well, a lot of change. And development of Duos that I hadn't gotten around to yet. And my phobia: making a realistic kingdom. It's hard for me to figure out how to make a king evil when he still has enough respect to BE king. -headdesk- Plus, I'm thinking about starting earlier, maybe even back when Grey was accepted into the king's guard, but I'm afraid of putting that much of a gap between the beginning of the book and introducing Kayden. Grey's becoming more of the main character, which is cool, but Kayden is still supposed to share the spotlight.

And then there's how in the hell to introduce Kella. I want Grey to meet Kayden first, and Kella could complicate things. Unless I did something really out there, like making Kella a friend of Grey's to start with--which would introduce its own problems but could be a lot of fun if I worked it out right... It would make Kella even less trustworthy. It would be very difficult to do well though. -headdeskheaddesk-

Danny and I are going to Ocean City tonight. It keeps getting shorter; bad timing all around, and as mad as I am at his work, it would have been easier to work out if I didn't have summer classes to limit my own time. But at least my limitations were solid, they didn't move around or appear out of nowhere. We originally scheduled a vacation for this Tuesday-Thursday and paid for a hotel by the beach, which would have been amazing, until his work decided to announce that his inventory would be on Thursday. So we moved it to this weekend, but then his FIFA tournament was moved to this weekend. It was supposed to be Sunday, so we were going to leave yesterday after my final. Leaving around noon, we would have gotten there with PLENTY of time yesterday and then all day today. But then he realized, no, his FIFA thing was today, so we have to wait for him to get home so we can go to Ocean City, so we'll be lucky if we get there while it's still light out... We can stay tomorrow, but it's still less time, and it pisses me off. D:

Eh. We're watching True Blood, and I'm really enjoying it. I really like Eric now and I'm basically rooting for Bill to disappear or die and for Sookie and Eric to end up together... lol.

3.8 this semester. Score. It's sad though because it could have easily been a 4.0 if I'd just gone to my math class more often. Well, there's always next semester I guess.

I made my Secret Santa gift for Stories. I also drew a Christmas card for Danny's parents.


I think I'm going to pull it down tomorrow and make the eyes more even, but otherwise I'm pretty pleased. They haven't looked at it yet (unless they peeked).

Erm yeah. I guess that's mostly it except I'm seriously excited for Christmas and I can't convince myself to go talk to restaurants about a job. Blah.

I WILL WIN THIS YEAR.

6155 / 50000 (12.31%)

All of that was written in two days. I didn't start on the 1st, I was busy being waaayy hungover from Halloween. And then working. And then sleeping. So I wrote 3,883 yesterday, and the rest today. I caught up with and then surpassed the daily word goal. Huzzah! (Should I make a daily word count meter? :o) Wait, why aren't the nano widgets working? Dammit.

I can do it this year. I promise myself!

I dropped my writer's house workshop, so that's done. I went to my first write-in at the College Park Starbucks, but only one person showed up. Flakey college kids. Grumplegrump. I may try again somewhere else tomorrow since I'm off work again.

There's totally lots more but I'll simply conclude with this: 96 on both midterms I got back yesterday! All-As goal is a go this semester, even if I'll be scraping it in certain classes.

All my final grades posted but ARHU318 (Writers' House). The prof for that sent me an email asking for the introduction I forgot to put in my final portfolio, which makes me feel even more stupid and anxious about my potential grade in that class; it was in the instructions, I just missed it. Gah. I mean, since I wasn't there the day she assigned it (and with an excused absence, no less), maybe she'll give me some leeway. I wasn't the only one who forgot it either. But I still need to reprint my portfolio for Johnna because apparently she needs it in 12pt Times.

Anyway, I did scrape an A- in French, so she must have curved the grades a bit (omg thank you). So that's two As and two Bs on my more weighted classes. In fact, one of each for my two 4-credits and one of each for my two 3-credits. ARHU318 is only a one credit. I'm not going to hope for an A. I was not an A student in that class this semester, even forgiving her lack of a syllabus. But a B shouldn't be too much to ask for. I feel like you'd have to really fuck up to get a C in a Writers' House course.

They cancelled one of my summer courses due to lack of enrollment. I added Junior English to try to make up for it, but I'm waitlisted. I added myself to two of the waitlisted sections and I'm first on each, so it's reasonable to hope I'll get in; surely at least one student will decide they don't want to pay for the class and drop out, right? So the only thing I'm really worried about it the fact that MATH212, the cancelled class, is a prerequisite for MATH213, which I'm also enrolled for. I hope they still let me take it. It's not my fault the prereq was cancelled. And I doubt there's really anything learned in 212 that I can't pick up just from taking 213. They're the same concept, just 212 is for teaching more basic math and 213 is for geometry-type-stuff. I emailed my advisor to let her know what's going on and ask her advice.

Oh, and it seems like no one's hiring but restaurants. Justin talked to his manager for me at Safeway and introduced me, but Safeway has a hiring freeze on currently; the manager said they're trying to shuffle current employees around before hiring new ones since some stores are understaffed but others are overstaffed. But he also said that no one wants to move, so they're having trouble; no one wants to drive too far to work. Starbucks isn't actively hiring. Heather said her work is hiring because a lot of their girls went home for the summer, and she said that she thinks I could teach a summer camp with no problem; if she says so, I'll believe her. It's a little intimidating since she works at a place where they coach gymnastics, and she used to be world-class. But she said she'll talk to her boss and ask for me. She also said starting is $9/hr while training. And it sounds like I could get at least semi-decent hours. So here's hoping, but I won't find out until she gets back from wherever she went with Dennis this weekend. It's crazy how great my roommates are though. Justin and Heather both so willing to help. I know I'm a bit of a shut-in, kind of on the antisocial side, but they're still so helpful.

People can be so wonderful.

Also, I'm reading Warbreaker, Sanderson's free e-Book. It's interesting; his worlds always are. I think he did a better job in Mistborn of introducing names of places and concepts more gradually and naturally, but I'm curious about the world and the magic system, so I'm along for the ride. He's releasing it in book form for sale in early June; I'll almost certainly buy it, if only to support him. Maybe I'll buy Elantris too and give it another shot.

So they already graded my bio final. I made a B on it, which should mean a B in the class. I made an A on the midterms and a C in lab, so it'll be a low B, but a B nonetheless. And she could still curve (though I'm not counting on it).

So I didn't get around to mentioning yesterday another shit thing about the day: I looked at my grades on Blackboard for Comm, and she gave me an 84 on the paper. As a group we made a 94. If you recall, I was one of only two people who actually showed up to work on the paper the day before it was due; I did my part, I deserve that A. I don't know if it was a mistake or what. I emailed the TA about it, as well as my groupmate who actually showed up with me that day. She got the 94, and she was very dismayed that I didn't and told me that if I need her to email the TA to let her know I did work and I deserve the full grade, she will do it. So I'm waiting on a response from the TA. I mean, I can still make an A in that class with an 84 on the paper, but it would be a much closer thing. I would have to get an A on the final; there would be no wiggle room for a high B or anything like that. I mean, I plan on getting an A, haha. I got As on the midterms. But you never know if something could go wrong.

And in French, she's only put in just over half the grades. Out of 540 points so far, I've got 482.5, which is a very high B. I think I can still pull in an A; I definitely slacked off on homework and such more at the beginning of semester. I don't expect that my participation will be very high, but I have a 42.5 point buffer zone of points I can still miss and make an A. Unless she pulls something retarded, I could still make it. A 4-credit A would be freaking beautiful at this point. I'm definitely making a B in Philosophy; I felt like I did really well on the final, but even a 100% would still put me at a B. Granted, I could probably make a very high C and still get a B... but I think I did well. If not an A (since she grades harsh), then at least a high B. And with the certain B in Bio and the hesitant A in Comm... plus I'm not counting on anything from Writers' House at this point, I'm just hoping it's at least a B but have absolutely nothing to go on...

As long as I make that A in Comm (and at least a B in WH), I'll pull the necessary 3.2 GPA, albeit barely. But if I pull an A in French too, then I'll make a 3.467. Not even Dean's List. I could pull a 3.5 if I miraculously make an A in WH, but I'm certainly not going to count on it. I mean, you'd think she'd grade easier since we never had a syllabus or anything of that sort, but I did miss two classes (one excused), two Writers Here and Now (one excused), and she did get on to me once for checking my email in class (which never goes over well in workshops) even if I was just trying to send her my final portfolio since she'd neglected to tell me it was due.

Ramble ramble. Praying for the best.

All my comm grades are finally in. I made an 89 on the final (pretty damn good considering) and an 86.something in the class (well, it's a solid B, I can live with that). In theater they promised to have final grades in by Monday at midnight, stat prof said he'd have them in probably by some time tomorrow... In Honors I'm just waiting on him to grade my final, but seeing as I only need a 147 out of 200 to get an A in the class I'm not too worried... And definitely gonna make a B in Writer's House, which is pathetic. Gotta do much better next semester. Blah.

ETA: I just calculated my grade so far for stat, and I'm not going to make an A (I'd need to make a 147.5 out of 150 on the final), but I should easily make a B since I'd only need about an 87.5 on the final (that's about 59%, haha), and that's without including the one extra credit sheet I did in class (but I think that may just be worth one point, haha). So, all that considered, I should make a 3.588 if I make an A in theater (I only need a 165 out of 200 on the final, I think I'll be okay). Or a 3.412 if I somehow make a B in theater. Yes, yes, I'm very obsessive. /edit

Okay. I'm watching Coyote Ugly. Maybe this time I'll actually finish it. I wanna be a coyote!

Danny's sick. It's miserable because he's not sick enough to just stay in bed and be waited on, he's walking around and working and stuff, but he's sick and grumpy and miserable. I feel bad because it can get kind of annoying, but I shouldn't be annoyed by my sick baby. Meh.

I work tonight, and tomorrow morning. But no school! No homework to worry about! Just work, and exercise, and trying to write, and trying to keep the house clean. Meh. But hopefully I make lots of money, and sell lots of merch, and go home early.

Old cravings are resurfacing. I've given up on the idea of starting a website based around web design or anything that needs members; I just can't stick to it. Either I get bored very quickly and give up, or I work really hard only to get disheartened by not attracting any active members and then give up.

But I'm getting that "must-design-a-website" itch again. I'm just going to toy with the idea for now. It would be something more personal. Something like this journal, but able to do more. Like I'm thinking of keeping a schedule on there for myself and recording things like exercise, missing classes, when big assignments are due, etc so that I can look back and see when I'm starting to slack. Sort of like nanowrimo, how they have the calendar with light green or light red for days when you do pretty well or slack off a little, and then deep green when you exceed expectations and deep red when you suck the crap out of life. I think I would just have one color for when I do something bad school related and one color for when I do something bad exercise related.

But um. Yes. If I decide to do something like that, I think I'll start on freewebs to see if I stick to it, and if it goes somewhere then look into other options. The good news is that now would be an ideal time; winter break will give me ample time to set something up and be obsessive.

Also, looks like I'll get a B in Writers' House, wth. I didn't comment on three submissions and it subtracted 11.5 points from my grade. Out of 100. Auto-B. Stupid me.

ETA: Thinking about it, maybe I'll just buy a good planner?