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.o43 x valentine's was terrific
I had a great weekend, absolutely terrific. Danny's so sweet, such a traditionalist, not like me at all. Tradition can be great (it was this weekend), but I also like (and sometimes prefer) spontaneous stuff, I guess making new traditions.
He cooked for me. Did a whole meal thing. Served salad in martini glasses, lol, and then the main course -- chicken cacciatore, which was delicious... Danny was proud, haha, and I definitely enjoyed it. And last dessert, a piece of this heart-shaped cake I saw him and his mom making earlier (and that I rescued from the oven when I was the only one in the house when the timer went off). It was all very beautiful, on china with wine in wine glasses and candle light... I hate wine, but it was certainly a nice picture.
And of course we were both dressed up nice. We'd each seen each other's outfits before, but it was still very nice. We'd never dressed up at the same time before, and he'd just had a haircut and a shave, which was very fucking hot. Haha. I wore lotion with glitter in it and jewelry I hadn't worn before (except his Batman necklace, I always wear that). I even changed my earrings, shock and amazement -- I never do that. Speaking of which, I need to put those back in... Anyway, I also did up my hair... not especially nice, but different from what I usually do, which was a change. And I wore skyscraper heels, lol. But only for a little bit, they came off as soon as we sat down to eat and got left upstairs.
I loved it. I love that he'd do that for me. And the traditionalism is adorable. I'm a girl at heart -- I love the candle light and the dressing up, and him telling me I'm beautiful.
Before we left Friday night, while I was waiting for him to get home from work, I was talking to mom... how did we get on the subject? Oh, because I was being impatient, and mom said something like it's just because I love him more than anyone else right now... and then she said, "No, let's call it what it is: lust."
I was kind of surprised. My parents have been so supportive -- in contrast with Tim, they've shown they actually like Danny, and I didn't recognize the difference until it happened. They never said anything bad about Tim, they just never said anything good. It was a kind of feeling of resigned acceptance with Tim.
Except since they decided Danny's front tires are too bald and unsafe but he refused to change them because we looked it up and they're still safe according to everything we read on the internet, there have been little comments. Like when I lost my keys and Danny insisted they weren't at his place, he looked all over for a missing Wiimote and would have seen them along the way if they'd been there... I said, "You weren't looking for them, though, so you might have missed them," but he was insistent he would have seen them. (He was right. They'd fallen behind my desk at home.) Dad, though, said sarcastically, "It's good to know he cares enough to actually look for them." Stuff like that. Oh, and the thing that actually really bothered me, when my dad compared Danny to Uncle Matt for not changing his tires... I know how highly my parents regard Uncle Matt (/sarcasm), and it kind of pissed me off to have Danny compared to him.
I'm completely in love with him. I wasn't even too bothered by mom saying that. I didn't genuinely argue, I just said offhandedly, "No, it's love." She disagreed, but I left it alone. I dunno. My parents tend to have pretty good instincts, but they're also very harsh when it comes to judging whether someone's being good to me. The thing with Yuka, they were making comments, like my dad saying she wasn't being a good friend when she ignored my comfort and smoked in the car on the way to Baltimore, even when I said something about it. Which is true, but one thing by itself doesn't necessarily mean a friendship is sour. It was everything added up that led to the breakdown of mine and Yuka's friendship.
Besides, his tires may not be in the best condition, but we looked it up... 1/16th of an inch of tread is bald, and when that happens, there are tread wear indicator bars that show in the tires. I figure tire companies would have the most to gain from having you replace your tires more often by saying the tread is unsafe sooner, so... whatever. My parents are just overcautious sometimes. And they aren't there to see most of what occurs between me and Danny, so they have very little perspective on the situation.
I know how much I care about him, and I can see how much he cares about me. He's so good to me. He's fucking beautiful. I've been thinking too far ahead. I almost said that I get to plan the next Valentine's Day before I realized that's a whole year from now.
This is the longest relationship I've been in. I guess I knew, but it struck me last night. It's been nearly three months and it still feels as exhilarating and perfect as at the beginning, if not moreso. No... definitely moreso. I love him so much.
I got home today and I was watching corny reality TV shows about relationships. Like this one where couples at turning points in their relationships test themselves by spending three weeks with an ex or a tempter or whatever to see if they really want to stay with their significant other. (I think tests like that are stupid, but eh.) And then that one on MTV (I think), Engaged and Underage. You can imagine what sorts of thoughts that engenders. It makes me feel stupid to think about it, but it happens. Like the traditionalist thing. We talked about engagement rings before, I don't remember why, and I told him how I've told my mom if a guy was ever shopping for a ring and came to her for advice, I wanted her to tell him not gold. But Danny said he likes silver, but he'd probably have a gold band because it's tradition. Haha. And watching that show today, I was thinking about how big weddings are tradition, and how I might have fun with a nontraditional wedding... although I dunno. Traditional would be beautiful. (But I'd really rather a silver/platinum/non-gold ring whenever I do get to that point.)
Like I said, I feel ridiculous thinking about it, but I have been thinking. His family has a lot of traditions, and a lot of family. I was thinking about how you marry into family and traditions like that, and it'd be weird to marry into a family like that. Not bad, but strange. I have family of my own, people we visit when we're home and everything. But being a military family, we don't have any real family traditions. We don't even always decorate for Christmas and stuff. To have pretty set plans for every Christmas and stuff, big family parties and junk... and a lot of drinking and stuff, no one in my family's really like that except my Uncle Ray Dale, and he just drinks beer constantly. His tolerance must be fucking insane.
Ahhhh. -headdesk- But yes. It's weird to think about. It's not that I'm really thinking I'll get married anytime soon or anything. I mean, I'm still in highschool, about to go into college. But holy shit I love him. It's kind of strange though. I've had four other relationships, only two of them even remotely bordering on serious. The first two were just like... eh. Josh and Travis. Didn't even kiss them. I don't know what I thought I was doing, because basically we were just friends with the (false) label of boyfriend and girlfriend. For me at least. They were more serious. Josh tried to kiss me, and I wasn't ready so I got pretty annoyed with him. Travis thought he was in love with me. (We were together maybe a month; he really attaches too fast too hard.)
Tim was serious, but... I recognize now that he never cared as much for me as I did for him. I loved him, but it wasn't like... the sort of thing that can be serious and lasting. It was too innocent, too naive. Given time, it wouldn't have worked out. But he moved after a little less than two months.
And Egan. It was serious in that I knew what I was doing, but there was no actual love, even if I thought so for a little while. He moved, too, and it never would have worked out. The smoking would have ended it. He wouldn't have quit for me and I couldn't have stood it for long.
So in a way, this is my first real relationship. There's no time limit; I knew both Tim and Egan were moving. There's open potential with Danny. And that also makes it kind of... strange, uncertain. I've never been in a situation like this, so how do I know... well. It's weird. But like I said, I know how much I care, and I know how much he cares. He loves me, and I love him. So much.
I really think it's beautiful to know that. To be able to see how much he cares, how much he loves me, with no uncertainty. I love that about him. And I recognize it as a quality in me, too. It's growth. Being able to accept that he loves me without questioning or doubting it. Because when a girl doubts her boyfriend's love for her, it may be about the boyfriend sometimes, but other times it's about the girl's own self esteem.
Aaaahhhhh.
The cat's so cute. Did I ever say we got a new kitten? It's been almost a month, I think. I doubt I mentioned him here. But he's so adorable. They gave him a bath and Cris brought him in here all damp, and he laid out on my bed like "OMGSAFETY." He's got the most beautiful fucking eyes. Haha. He's just starting to get really lively as opposed to sleeping most of the time.
Hm. I'm hungry.
He cooked for me. Did a whole meal thing. Served salad in martini glasses, lol, and then the main course -- chicken cacciatore, which was delicious... Danny was proud, haha, and I definitely enjoyed it. And last dessert, a piece of this heart-shaped cake I saw him and his mom making earlier (and that I rescued from the oven when I was the only one in the house when the timer went off). It was all very beautiful, on china with wine in wine glasses and candle light... I hate wine, but it was certainly a nice picture.
And of course we were both dressed up nice. We'd each seen each other's outfits before, but it was still very nice. We'd never dressed up at the same time before, and he'd just had a haircut and a shave, which was very fucking hot. Haha. I wore lotion with glitter in it and jewelry I hadn't worn before (except his Batman necklace, I always wear that). I even changed my earrings, shock and amazement -- I never do that. Speaking of which, I need to put those back in... Anyway, I also did up my hair... not especially nice, but different from what I usually do, which was a change. And I wore skyscraper heels, lol. But only for a little bit, they came off as soon as we sat down to eat and got left upstairs.
I loved it. I love that he'd do that for me. And the traditionalism is adorable. I'm a girl at heart -- I love the candle light and the dressing up, and him telling me I'm beautiful.
Before we left Friday night, while I was waiting for him to get home from work, I was talking to mom... how did we get on the subject? Oh, because I was being impatient, and mom said something like it's just because I love him more than anyone else right now... and then she said, "No, let's call it what it is: lust."
I was kind of surprised. My parents have been so supportive -- in contrast with Tim, they've shown they actually like Danny, and I didn't recognize the difference until it happened. They never said anything bad about Tim, they just never said anything good. It was a kind of feeling of resigned acceptance with Tim.
Except since they decided Danny's front tires are too bald and unsafe but he refused to change them because we looked it up and they're still safe according to everything we read on the internet, there have been little comments. Like when I lost my keys and Danny insisted they weren't at his place, he looked all over for a missing Wiimote and would have seen them along the way if they'd been there... I said, "You weren't looking for them, though, so you might have missed them," but he was insistent he would have seen them. (He was right. They'd fallen behind my desk at home.) Dad, though, said sarcastically, "It's good to know he cares enough to actually look for them." Stuff like that. Oh, and the thing that actually really bothered me, when my dad compared Danny to Uncle Matt for not changing his tires... I know how highly my parents regard Uncle Matt (/sarcasm), and it kind of pissed me off to have Danny compared to him.
I'm completely in love with him. I wasn't even too bothered by mom saying that. I didn't genuinely argue, I just said offhandedly, "No, it's love." She disagreed, but I left it alone. I dunno. My parents tend to have pretty good instincts, but they're also very harsh when it comes to judging whether someone's being good to me. The thing with Yuka, they were making comments, like my dad saying she wasn't being a good friend when she ignored my comfort and smoked in the car on the way to Baltimore, even when I said something about it. Which is true, but one thing by itself doesn't necessarily mean a friendship is sour. It was everything added up that led to the breakdown of mine and Yuka's friendship.
Besides, his tires may not be in the best condition, but we looked it up... 1/16th of an inch of tread is bald, and when that happens, there are tread wear indicator bars that show in the tires. I figure tire companies would have the most to gain from having you replace your tires more often by saying the tread is unsafe sooner, so... whatever. My parents are just overcautious sometimes. And they aren't there to see most of what occurs between me and Danny, so they have very little perspective on the situation.
I know how much I care about him, and I can see how much he cares about me. He's so good to me. He's fucking beautiful. I've been thinking too far ahead. I almost said that I get to plan the next Valentine's Day before I realized that's a whole year from now.
This is the longest relationship I've been in. I guess I knew, but it struck me last night. It's been nearly three months and it still feels as exhilarating and perfect as at the beginning, if not moreso. No... definitely moreso. I love him so much.
I got home today and I was watching corny reality TV shows about relationships. Like this one where couples at turning points in their relationships test themselves by spending three weeks with an ex or a tempter or whatever to see if they really want to stay with their significant other. (I think tests like that are stupid, but eh.) And then that one on MTV (I think), Engaged and Underage. You can imagine what sorts of thoughts that engenders. It makes me feel stupid to think about it, but it happens. Like the traditionalist thing. We talked about engagement rings before, I don't remember why, and I told him how I've told my mom if a guy was ever shopping for a ring and came to her for advice, I wanted her to tell him not gold. But Danny said he likes silver, but he'd probably have a gold band because it's tradition. Haha. And watching that show today, I was thinking about how big weddings are tradition, and how I might have fun with a nontraditional wedding... although I dunno. Traditional would be beautiful. (But I'd really rather a silver/platinum/non-gold ring whenever I do get to that point.)
Like I said, I feel ridiculous thinking about it, but I have been thinking. His family has a lot of traditions, and a lot of family. I was thinking about how you marry into family and traditions like that, and it'd be weird to marry into a family like that. Not bad, but strange. I have family of my own, people we visit when we're home and everything. But being a military family, we don't have any real family traditions. We don't even always decorate for Christmas and stuff. To have pretty set plans for every Christmas and stuff, big family parties and junk... and a lot of drinking and stuff, no one in my family's really like that except my Uncle Ray Dale, and he just drinks beer constantly. His tolerance must be fucking insane.
Ahhhh. -headdesk- But yes. It's weird to think about. It's not that I'm really thinking I'll get married anytime soon or anything. I mean, I'm still in highschool, about to go into college. But holy shit I love him. It's kind of strange though. I've had four other relationships, only two of them even remotely bordering on serious. The first two were just like... eh. Josh and Travis. Didn't even kiss them. I don't know what I thought I was doing, because basically we were just friends with the (false) label of boyfriend and girlfriend. For me at least. They were more serious. Josh tried to kiss me, and I wasn't ready so I got pretty annoyed with him. Travis thought he was in love with me. (We were together maybe a month; he really attaches too fast too hard.)
Tim was serious, but... I recognize now that he never cared as much for me as I did for him. I loved him, but it wasn't like... the sort of thing that can be serious and lasting. It was too innocent, too naive. Given time, it wouldn't have worked out. But he moved after a little less than two months.
And Egan. It was serious in that I knew what I was doing, but there was no actual love, even if I thought so for a little while. He moved, too, and it never would have worked out. The smoking would have ended it. He wouldn't have quit for me and I couldn't have stood it for long.
So in a way, this is my first real relationship. There's no time limit; I knew both Tim and Egan were moving. There's open potential with Danny. And that also makes it kind of... strange, uncertain. I've never been in a situation like this, so how do I know... well. It's weird. But like I said, I know how much I care, and I know how much he cares. He loves me, and I love him. So much.
I really think it's beautiful to know that. To be able to see how much he cares, how much he loves me, with no uncertainty. I love that about him. And I recognize it as a quality in me, too. It's growth. Being able to accept that he loves me without questioning or doubting it. Because when a girl doubts her boyfriend's love for her, it may be about the boyfriend sometimes, but other times it's about the girl's own self esteem.
Aaaahhhhh.
The cat's so cute. Did I ever say we got a new kitten? It's been almost a month, I think. I doubt I mentioned him here. But he's so adorable. They gave him a bath and Cris brought him in here all damp, and he laid out on my bed like "OMGSAFETY." He's got the most beautiful fucking eyes. Haha. He's just starting to get really lively as opposed to sleeping most of the time.
Hm. I'm hungry.
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p.s. I'd love to see your new cat.
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