karriezai: ([asoiaf] the pointy end)
So I fail at updating, but meh.

The holidays were fun. I spent them with Danny and his family, as usual. We both got lots of good stuff, but his parents always take way better care of us than we deserve. Danny actually went into a bookstore to get my gifts, which is like a present in itself.

New Years Eve we spent in Virginia with Aaron, Matt, and Claire. It was Aaron's birthday, too, so double the celebration. Morgan was there, but she's completely different... she was dressed very nicely, if maybe a little skankily, and flirting with two guys most of the night, dirty dancing with another, who subsequently took her home. Matt knew the guy apparently; he got a text something like this: "Dude I'm with this chick Morgan, she's so drunk, I'm getting lucky tonight." I didn't see it, but Danny did and told me afterward. I think Danny tried to avoid thinking about it. It's hard for him to see her like that when he wants to take care of her. I asked him, if they were still close friends, what he would say to her. And he said he wouldn't have let her get this far. (How he would stop her is beyond me, but eh.)

New Years Day, Danny and his dad went to a Redskins game (which made everybody else go D: but his dad had been gunning for them to go to a game together all season so I found it hard to be more than disappointed) while I stayed home and had dinner with Sue and her side of the family. Which mostly consisted of old people talk.

Over the holiday season, I went on a lottery playing streak. Very disappointing, haha. I was relieved when the jackpot finally broke (it got pretty high). But Danny and I did have fun imagining what we would do with that much money.

We're looking for condos because the living situation here is just... going downhill. Roy insists on raising the rent for real and says if we don't pay the new amount next month he'll keep us out of the house with a shotgun until we pay. Someone broke my glasses (or at the VERY least found them on the floor broken) and didn't own up to it, so now I have to wear contacts all the time. Everything's a mess basically.

I was looking through Danny's email to find the VA approval letter he got for our home loan once we find a condo we want, and found two emails he sent himself in his notes back in October: Morgan's number in one (around the time he insisted on deleting it from his phone) and a half-drugged/asleep text she sent him around that same time. I can't really be mad because that's all over now, but at the same time, it's another thing he kept from me. Stupid, stupid man. Sometimes I wonder if I ever got the full story out of him. And if he'll ever stop keeping things from me "to protect me" or because I "really don't need to know". What a jerk.
karriezai: ([asoiaf] dark wings dark words)
...but my updates are.

The aftermath of the me-Danny-Morgan thing. It's really over this time. No. Really. )

Erm, I gave up on NaNo. With the stress of conflict with Danny and school put together, it just wasn't doable this month. Or at least... I didn't have the energy. I have a lot of stuff due this week. In math, the second part of the portfolio. The science lesson apparently got moved back, so maybe not that. In classroom management, I have stuff due and overdue; of the three assignments, I can probably get two done without going back to my internship first. In reading, a book club reflection on a book I haven't read yet and won't get until later this week, so I'll be asking for an extension probably. In language arts, two case reports and my mini lesson report. Which I forgot to have my mentor fill out the rubric for. Damn. Guess that portion will be late.

Blah. Anyway. Life.

meh.

12/11/10 19:26
karriezai: ([asoiaf] fear cuts)
I don't really want to talk about it just yet.

But suffice to say, I'm feeling more normal, and even though our last conversation didn't go super well on a technical level, it still left me feeling almost inexplicably better about him really wanting me as opposed to logicking himself into it. Which was really the hardest part.

I'm not so scared anymore. This seems much more manageable now.

ETA )
karriezai: ([kh] [akuroku] sticks totally gay for)

Had another talk with Danny. Well another breakdown. I told him I didn't feel loved, like he was telling me and telling himself but I couldn't feel it. He said he was sorry for the distance but it's hard...

Basically this is where it stands. In a way, he was dating another girl for the last two years and he just broke up with her, so he's mourning. And having me here makes it better but harder at the same time. He really isn't sure about us because he's in so much pain it's hard for him to tell whether we can be happy again.

All of this kills me, of course. The person I most want comfort from is him but he can't really give it. But I'm willing to wait it out, at least a while. The truth is that I want to be with him and that while this hurts like crazy it doesn't change that basic fact. I'm going to have a lot of trust issues to work out with him, but I can wait on that until he makes up his mind. I do think we'll be together in the end. He just needs time to heal.

In the meantime I have to balance my need for comfort with his need for space. He wants things to be normal because if we don't try to return to our normal lives this will never heal. I understand that.

In a way this explains a whole hell of a lot. He told me he's not a lovey person and I'll have to learn to deal with it, but I pointed out that we had no problem with physical intimacy in the beginning, and my needs there haven't changed. It's gotten worse and worse over the last few months, and now that I see the whole picture I think his conflict over Morgan has been a huge part of that. I'm hoping that now that that door is closed, he can heal properly and we can be closer without him pushing me away.

We'll figure it out in time I think. I hope.

karriezai: ([hp] [puff] not a powerpuff)
Oh my god I'm going to kill this man.

So of course he's not going to stop posting on Morgan's Facebook completely; this is understandable. Balance would be nice is all, not posting on hers more than anyone else's, you know. (Though he stopped posting entirely after our conversation, hasn't posted on anyone's up until today, and it's Morgan's again, so maybe it's NOT okay. I don't know.)

But what does he comment on? The poem she wrote. "Best poem ever." Fuck him.

I posted on his wall: "Jerk. Way to go reading some other girl's writing."

To be honest, I'm not overly mad. I'm just... I dunno, I can't believe he'd be that retarded. He KNOWS how much it bothers me that he doesn't give a crap about my writing. I could kick him IN THE BALLS. I don't even understand how he can be so insensitive and stupid. Is he trying to upset me?

When will this be over?

It's something new every other fricken day.

I want to go beat the crap out of something.

ETA: Talked to him. Made me madder how much it took to get him to understand why it was an insensitive thing to do. The difference between a short Facebook poem that he reads voluntarily and me trying to get him to read or listen to me talk about my writing without being totally begrudging... blah. It was a Michael Jackson poem, and I understand that that's why he read and liked it, and I understand that if it had been someone else who posted it then it wouldn't have been a big deal, so maybe it's not exactly fair. But under the circumstances, yes, it upset me. And I just wish he could understand that without me having to spell it out.

I also started to express to him that I wish that I could just randomly do something like that that he would appreciate. I meant it as... it bothers me that Morgan just wrote this Michael Jackson poem (composed of an amalgam of his lyrics) for the hell of it and he loved it, but I've never done anything spontaneous like that that he's loved. But he just took the beginning of my sentiment and interjected with, "But you don't! Your statuses aren't anything that makes me want to comment on them!" or something along those lines. Which, of course, doesn't help. I didn't realize my life was so boring to him. He accused me of making all of my status updates complaints about him, which isn't true at all. There have been some, certainly, but also lots of oddball ones and lots of stress venting about school. He didn't even comment on the one about me wearing my Hooters outfit to work for Halloween. I understand that he's so close to me he knows what's going on in my life. Maybe it's not worth commenting on. But whatever. Just... going back over everything--the statuses of hers he has commented on, the ones of mine he hasn't--I can't help but be bothered. Like this is worth commenting on more than anything I've said in the last two weeks?: "Yay for morning rushes. All I want is a sweatshirt and venti latte."

This is going to drive me nuts. I know at this point that I'm overreacting. But it just keeps building. With him saying he's sorry and then going on to do something even more insensitive. FUCK.

miffed.

31/10/10 10:30
karriezai: ([avatar] katara icicle up the ass)
So I swear half of all Danny's Facebook comments are on Morgan's statuses. Still. And he refuses to put her number back in his phone but they still text, it just shows the full number. He has no confidence in himself and said the reason he doesn't put her number back in is so he doesn't drunk dial her. He says he wants to distance himself from her and go incommunicado unless she texts him first, but that doesn't apply to Facebook apparently. And he can't be friends with girls (...or else what...?) but it sure seems like he's still trying with her.

This annoys the HELL out of me but I don't want to bother with bringing it up because it causes such a commotion and I always end up feeling bad for feeling bad, and he never wants to tell me what he's feeling anyway.

I wouldn't feel so paranoid if he wasn't so closed off and self-contradictory about it all. Like... if he honestly thought he could be friends with girls, okay. But he doesn't. So what the fuck is he doing?
karriezai: ([avatar] sweetheart/bitterheart)
Morgan reactivated her Facebook. Talking to her makes me pretty deeply sad, but I think it'll pass. I suppose if we want to be real friends again we'll have to sit down and talk... but we'll see.

Bit of TMI )

Anyway. Suffice to say. I did not sleep at all last night, and I was run down all day at my internship. My fifth graders were asking me what was wrong with my eyes and I had to explain I didn't get any sleep and my eyes were protesting, but a couple of the intuitive ones did not miss the fact that puffy eyes come from crying.

Fuck my life right now.

It'll get better. But I think... this might be the lowest I've been... maybe ever, and if not, certainly in a long while.

blargh.

25/10/10 23:18
karriezai: ([misc] [scar] omgwtf?)
Learned today that Morgan asked Danny if he would consider leaving me. Me being the person I am, what disturbed me most about this was the simple fact that Danny's just now telling me even though I asked him last week if he'd told me everything since I know his tendency for leaving things out. I'm a little weirded out that Morgan would ask it, but not angry. I guess I kind of get it. I wouldn't do it personally, mainly because my thought process would go something like this: It would hurt her so much... but I want to know... but do I really want to be with a guy who'd leave his girlfriend of four years like that...? Best not to ask. Roughly.

If I'm mad at her for anything, it's for blaming her ruptured ovarian cyst (that the doctors said is stress-induced) on Danny. What an evil thing to do. I felt and feel horrible for her being in pain and having to go to the hospital, but you don't blame that sort of thing on someone else. It wasn't Danny's fault. And who could have known she would react so strongly to the whole thing?

Anyway, it's fine. I told Danny I need to be able to trust he's being honest with me, especially when I ask him if he's left anything out. He said there were more feelings than his involved and he didn't think it was okay to tell me that and betray Morgan's trust, but I told him, "That's something I deserve to know." And it's true. Even though I'm not mad at her over it--even if I had been mad--it's something he should have told me. She's my friend too, and I have the right to evaluate our friendship based on her willingness to take my boyfriend. -sigh-

He also said I would have been angry and blamed him despite the fact that he told her no. In response I laughed. "Let me ask you something. Have I, during this whole thing, gotten angry?" "No." "I'm not angry now, I wouldn't have been then. You should have told me." I basically made it clear that in the future I want him to tell me everything.

Note to self: need to find gelatin-free Jello to make Jello shots for Koontz's party on Saturday.
karriezai: ([batman] rawr)
As much as I'm not mad at Danny or Morgan over the thing last week, it still changes the way I see their conversations/texting/going to see a movie with friends yesterday/etc. I hate being a stupid irrational girl. (Not that boys aren't irrational. So maybe a stupid, irrational human being.)

School is blah. Putting off an assignment until during my classes tomorrow. Probably not the best strategy, but it's happening. I will have an extended lunch because it's the midterm in science methods, though.

STILL NOT WRITING. D: Thinking about writing out all my random little plot ideas. Again. Including fanfiction. (You little bastards always come back around again, don't you?)

House hunting is moving forward at turtle pace, but it is moving. I have managed to save a good amount of money despite "wasting" money on drinking Wednesday, RennFest today, and various food-type-things over the last month. I think we'll be okay.
karriezai: ([asoiaf] armored courtesy)
Recap of events leading up to awkwardness:

For those who don't know, Morgan is Danny and my friend. We met her through Danny's work when he was still commuting over to Virginia. She worked at the Starbucks there, and then he hired her when she applied to Gamestop. There was a fairly brief time period when I was jealous of Danny's relationship with her which started when our texting bill was outrageously high for the first time due to all the texts Danny had been sending to her, resulting in us having to get unlimited texting. (It was, seriously, retarded.) Anyway, this jealousy was due to some serious parallels between us: we had and have tons in common, and she reminded me of me back when Danny started dating me, right down to her working at Starbucks and him being her supervisor.

I got over this just fine in time because Danny and I have a trusting relationship and because he assured me it was more like a big brother relationship (which makes perfect sense seeing as he's eight years her elder, which is a lot when you're considering she was underage at the time). Some posts on the issue from back when it WAS an issue, in order chronologically: here, here, here, and here. They show a clear progression from mildly worried to almost irrationally angry to starting to get over it but still annoyed. (Also, I didn't link it, but I found the entry about his texting with her: he went over by 300 texts that month, more than double the texts our plan allotted at the time, and cost us $30.)

Anyway, pretty boring since then. We don't get to hang out with Morgan much when we're all so busy and she's in Virginia while we both live and work in Maryland now. So Saturday was her birthday, and I forgot to take off work so I could hang out when she came over that evening. I told them I'd try to get off as early as possible but I wasn't sure how plausible it would be, and told them to come visit me at work, so they did. And then they went home (to Danny's parents' house, since we were puppy sitting) and hung out and started drinking for the three-ish other hours I still ended up working, and then I came home and joined them, and we had a fun night other than Danny kidney-punching me and twisting my thumb in a more painful way than usual, which made me angry at him all night but I pushed it away to have fun for Morgan until we went to bed.

So yesterday when I got off work, I asked Danny if he wanted me to come by his midnight release, and he said yeah, there was something he wanted to talk to me about. )

ETA: Talked to Danny. Feel all better. :D
karriezai: ([asoiaf] song of ice)
Got an A- in Writers' House. Means I managed the Dean's List (barely). That's three semesters out of four. It was my first semester that I didn't make it. Hopefully I can stay on there the rest of my time at school. Maybe even make a couple more 4.0s.

I'm thinking I need to get serious into worldbuilding for both my worlds. I think I'll get a binder and a bunch of loose leaf paper, and of course some dividers. That way I can add bits here and there. That's what I hate about notebooks. If I want to go back and add something, I have to leave room. But I don't know how much room I'll need to leave, if any. But I realized part of the reason I have such trouble getting into my writing is that the worlds of other authors seem so much more real to me than my own. I'm always uncertain. What can the houses be made of? What would be realistic? I know it doesn't have to obey the rules of our world, but it has to make sense according to the rules of my world. So I'm going to try to spend time making my worlds more real.

Work work work. It's a bit more tolerable now that I've given up on caring. Funny, huh? But I don't think it can last long. Especially when summer classes start if he schedules me when I said I can't work.

Just saw Night at the Museum. It was good, pretty fun, but too unrealistic this time (I mean, they flew from DC to New York and back presumably in under an hour in Amelia Aerhart's old plane). Star Trek and Terminator Salvation were much better, but I guess that shouldn't be too surprising. I am weirdly fascinated by the fact that the actor for Chekov in Star Trek was John Connor's teenaged dad in Terminator.

I'm tired. We drank last night (went to Medieval Times with Morgan, fun times), and I didn't sleep that well due to it. Danny woke up at 7, crazy man that he is. He'll be tired soon, especially with it raining now.

We're thinking about trying to buy a townhouse and rent out one of the rooms, but first I'd have to have a job with regular money. So here's hoping the hiring freeze lifts soon.
karriezai: ([asoiaf] whores)
I talked to Danny about yesterday. At first he was actually upset; he said it hurts that we're building our lives together and planning even things like kids names and I didn't trust him. I reassured him that of course I trust him not to cheat on me. I mean, that doesn't mean it's not still upsetting. I explained that he doesn't even know Morgan's friend; she could tell a friend who tells a friend and get him in trouble. If not legal trouble, maybe just Morgan's dad found out and she has to quit Gamestop and never see him again trouble. And I told him that yeah, I do have this maybe irrational discomfort at the idea that he was home alone with two teenaged girls drinking, but just think about what something like that would look like to an outsider looking in. Danny's usually the one who cares about propriety and appearances way more than me.

He said he's been helping underaged people get alcohol for ten years, referring to the house parties he used to throw and such, and that's all it was; they said they didn't get to drink on Spring Break and just wanted to get a chance to do that. He said he was going to just convince them to go to Dave and Busters from the beginning and hang out there but he couldn't afford to pay for all of them to play games.

I mean, none of that makes it better, of course. It was a dumb idea on multiple levels. But he won't do it again.

Bah, boys are dumb. I feel a lot better. I just hope he understands that while I absolutely trust that he won't cheat, I was still justified in being upset, because I'm not sure he got that at first.
karriezai: ([misc] life's a bitch)
Spent all day yesterday in hospitals trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong with my eyes. An opthamologist at Walter Reed said my contacts had just dried my eyes out and gave me all natural eye drops and some ointment to use with the instructions not to wear my contacts for two weeks and call her if I didn't improve. My right eye is particularly bad for some reason, really blurry.

But that's not the reason for my update. I'm gonna try to keep this short and simple. I just want honest opinions/advice. I don't necessarily want to be "right" or have people on my side because I do feel that maybe I'm being a little... well... dumb. So just whatever you really think, and even if I end up not agreeing it's not like I'll be mad or anything.

So Danny's hanging out with Morgan and her friend, another girl, who apparently is really flirty and forward and likes to go after guys when her friends show signs of liking them. (Why is Morgan friends with her anyway?) I suggested that he bring Morgan by to see me at work last Thursday, so he said he'd try to bring Morgan and her friend by today, only clearly that wouldn't have happened even if I'd been cut because they're running on a tight schedule and need to be home by 5. Now, I trust Danny and that nothing would happen, but I just thought I might express to him that it made me mildly uncomfortable because without bringing them by to see me, he's just hanging out with a bunch of teenaged girls. He said once he wouldn't just hang out with Morgan unless we'd all be hanging out later; clearly not the case this time.

But what really made me extremely uncomfortable is when I got home from work and there's a pizza box and empty mike's hard lemonades and smirnoff ices in the room. So clearly they were drinking together.

Is it wrong that that pisses me off? That Danny was at home drinking with two teenaged girls? Like, it really bothers me, maybe more than it should. Especially since, thinking about it, if they'd skipped the drinking there would have been time to come see me or at least he'd for sure be able to pick me up on the way to drop them back off in Virginia, but now he's doubting he'll have time because he took them to Dave and Busters (admittedly to try to reserve lanes for my birthday next month).

I dunno. It gets under my skin. I've also been pretty jealous lately of how freaking much he texts her. Like all the time. And sometimes checks his phone like a girl waiting to see if her boyfriend texted. And downloaded AIM again to IM and video chat with Morgan and her friends in Myrtle Beach (they just got back yesterday). And is it wrong to be skeptical when he tells me he went out and bought a camera to play around with video chatting with me when he did so the day after one-way video chatting with Morgan because he didn't have a camera and so couldn't see him?

I'm done. Again, just honest opinions, and do keep in mind that I trust him not to cheat on me or anything stupid like that... I just don't trust him not to do something completely insensitive that he really shouldn't and really piss me off.
karriezai: ([asoiaf] rainbow guard)
Trying to catch up with school after a completely wasted spring break (when it comes to schoolwork anyway). I finished my lab report but I still have to print it out along with the little sheet things for the two primary sources I chose. I have to fill those two out but I doubt it can take long, which is why I decided to let it wait for morning.

I did all my French work, finished it two days early, hoping to keep that trend up. Last unit I forgot to do half until it was too late so I lost half the credit. And I already lost ten points for missing a quality assignment. That's twenty points out of 1,000 lost for stupid reasons. Not much if I do well on everything else but still a pain in the ass. I do well on all the quizzes and stuff... tomorrow I need to study the little culture notes though, I haven't really even looked at them yet. (I have a quiz tomorrow in French.)

I really want to make a roleplay site, it's so sad. I'm not even sure how much I want to roleplay, but I want to make the site. Morgan's into roleplaying and it semi-revived the spark. I'm holding myself back because she isn't showing too much interest in roleplaying with me and I know if I get OCD about it again it'll interfere with the already limited time I leave myself to do schoolwork. But if she seemed into it I'd probably be all over it, haha. I sent her some of my writing... we'll see what goes down.

Went to Jenn's bridal shower Saturday, it was nice. Naturally made me dream I was engaged to Danny that night, but surprisingly enough the only real thought I took away from the dream was "Hey, he actually found a ring that fits!" Lol. When we were drinking last night watching Twilight (because you can really only watch it with a little alcohol, I mean honestly), we were talking about how... it speaks to how much he trusts and loves me that he talks so openly about Morgan because he knows he doesn't have to worry about me acting threatened the way other girls would by him having a close friendship with a girl. And how I still feel it's weird but I trust him so completely that I realize my feelings of weirdness are pointless because it's not like he'd ever do anything to even make me feel betrayed, much less actually betray me.

Hm. He mentioned how normal girls in normal relationships couldn't take the thing with Morgan. I couldn't help thinking that maybe it's because we're further along in our relationship than a lot of people get in two years. In a lot of ways we already act like a married couple, and married couples are infamous for their workwives and workhusbands. Which is kind of what Morgan is.

Haha. I love him, as usual.
karriezai: ([iron man] crashed love)
So I feel ridiculously better today, and super appreciative of what I have in Danny. To tell the whole story, I'll start with the text Morgan sent yesterday. )

So basically... he completely erased all of my insecurities about the entire mess. He felt bad and apologized to Morgan for saying mean things to her, but she took it very well. We're supposed to find time over spring break to hang out just her and me for a girls day so I can get to be better friends with her.

It all worked out in the end. And I love Danny more than anything. I hate that apparently I needed some reassurance of his feelings, because although logically I knew how committed he was, I guess my heart was having problems with it. If it wasn't, then I wouldn't have felt such strong relief at his display of love and commitment.

I really appreciate all the support I got from all directions, though, throughout this. Stacie, Stephanie, John, Deborah, [livejournal.com profile] eotheod... all in no particular order, but you are all amazing. Love you guys!
karriezai: ([misc] life's a bitch)
I felt a ton, and I mean a ton better yesterday. To the point that I felt ridiculous for even having the worries mentioned in my previous post. But today... )

My nipples throb. I took the piercings out Wednesday night and was too lazy to replace them before I went to bed, and I couldn't get them back through myself Thursday afternoon. So I went to Ambrotos today to have the piercer there grease/taper them back through, and it hurt. My right one actually felt like I got it repierced. Now I have to take care of them like new piercings. It was worth it. The childish part of me wants to make it another reason to be upset with Danny, because it was his expressed desire in the piercings that encouraged me to get them in the first place, but I've had them two years. I love them to death, not because of him anymore at all. When I wasn't wearing them and I looked down, it looked wrong. Normal nipples looked wrong, haha.

But I need to go to the gym and I'm not sure that it's a good idea. I'll take it easy I guess. Especially with the rowing. If it bothers me then I'll skip it.

I dunno. The thing with Danny put a damper on my whole day. It makes little set backs enough to make me tear up. Like driving in freaking circles trying to get from Ambrotos to campus. I wanted to take the quickest route but I ended up just taking forever because I dared to attempt exploring. I seriously had to back track three times. And yes it had me in tears and yes I felt stupid.

Also, when I mentioned Wednesday that he almost had more pictures of Morgan on his phone than me, his response was, "But she sends them to me, you don't send me pictures." And also that he mainly only kept them on there to show me. And proceeded to delete a couple, except the ones he wanted to keep because she had a happy smile or whatever. So the question I thought but didn't ask was, why does she send them? I doubt it's just because she feels like it. Either it's a response to one of their conversations or he asked for them. So I sent him some decent ones of me I found on facebook today, we'll see how that goes.

And it still bothers me how much they text. Apparently I'm not a good texter. I don't know. He doesn't reply to me at all sometimes. I have to call him to see what the fuck is up. Whatever.

But sometimes people restore your faith in humanity. When I posted my status on Facebook as "really, really depressed," I immediately got concerned "why?"s from two of the girls from work. It's so sweet.
karriezai: ([avatar] halp!)
So I'm having trouble with myself.

Danny's becoming really good friends with a girl he works with, a girl I could also be really good friends with, but for some reason it won't stop bothering me. I trust him, but it still won't stop bothering me, and I don't completely understand why. I get aspects of it... so let me go into it.

Help me stop freaking out please?

The situation. )
karriezai: ([misc] [scar] omgwtf?)
Holy freaking bunny rabbits, Danny!

I just checked the AT&T bill that's due at the beginning of February and his ass went over $30 in texts. And for the current month that's in progress, we're only a week in but he's at 143 out of 200. I'm at 57 out of 200, which is a bit much for me... that would be because of Morgan. That girl does not stop texting.

So Danny walked down to the AT&T store and upped us to unlimited texting. It's $30 a month for the family plan (would be $20 per phone if we weren't on a family plan), and we were already paying $10 a month for 200 texts each, so it's not that bad. Our bill will go from about $146 to $166. The next one due is $175 and he was on the road to worse, so I'm not going to complain.

It's just weird because we'd never gone over before and then he manages to go over by 300 texts. That's over twice as many as he was allotted! And it's not me he's texting, he rarely even texts me back. A lot of it is probably Morgan but he recognizes how much she texts and tries not to reply to every one. So he must just be texting all his coworkers a lot.

Holy hell.
Tags:
karriezai: ([iron man] dual identity)
I've been working quite a bit. Full time restauranting isn't terribly fun. I work a double tomorrow and Saturday, though Saturday I'm going to leave at jumpstart if possible so I can eat dinner with Danny, Alli, cousin Justin, Grammy, Gene, and possibly Matt. If I can't, it's not a huge deal, it'd probably be nice as just blood family. But they all invited me from the start, so it's not like I'm unwelcome or anything.

But yeah. We also had Danny's coworker over. I have a lot in common with her and we could be great friends. She's 17, and she reminds me a lot of me in certain ways when I first met Danny. She works at Starbucks, and she works with Danny (though at Gamestop), has about as much experience with alcohol as I'd had when I met him, and other similarities in interests and such. Which was a serious weird factor at first since it's like... if Danny didn't have me now, would he start up the same sort of relationship with her? Well, the age gap is much steeper there, and he insists that they'd fight way too much, and I know he finds me more attractive. But the similarities are still kind of unnerving.

I'm not at all worried, mind you. I trust him completely.

Anyway we had her over and gave her champagne. Just champagne and not that much, but she ended up getting sick all over the futon and floor, and god the smell is resilient! What an awful stench to come out of such an innocent, unassuming body! I think it's the Doritos she had since it bears a striking kinship to the smell of non-barfed Doritos, but of course barfed Doritos smell horribly gross instead of yummy. Danny has outlawed them for at least a month.

Aside from that, we've had some fighting, some of which left me really depressed and doubtful, but we basically ended at the conclusion that sometimes he's going to want to play video games or fuck with his computer even when I'm there and I'll have to find something to do for myself while he's doing that. Which, I mean, should be perfect incentive to write, huh? What really got me was his concern over my decreased interest in video games. I just don't like playing Gears as much anymore, or other games for that matter. I'm going to try to get back into some of them at least while I have the time over winter break, because it's an important bond.

Meh.

Also, worked out with Heather today, lots of fun. She taught me some cool exercises and stretches. Yay former gymnast as an exercise buddy!

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karriezai

March 2011

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