karriezai: ([hg] betting on you)
Okay, so, life. I had my meeting with Suzanne... was both worse than and not as bad as I expected. Tracy thinks I'm behind on school work and I've been taking off days/being late to try to play catch up, and not talking to her about it. Which is far from the case. So, not quite what I expected, but at least she doesn't (exactly) think I'm a huge slacker. On the other hand, Suzanne warned me to expect Tracy to look in on me. Didn't happen this week between MSAs and Tracy having jury duty, but apparently I can expect her to pop in and see if I'm doing everything properly. I mean, I don't have the lesson plan book I'm supposed to, but aside from that... I do what I'm supposed to, so it should be okay.

I gained a ton of respect for Tracy at the seminar today. She let the class rant for an hour about how unreasonable and condescending our reading assessment professor is at the university and gave us advice on how to handle it. Very frank, helpful advice. And she demonstrated yet again how knowledgeable she is about classroom management. She has a treasure trove of random examples/experiences I never in a million years would have imagined. I'll be honest; I let my view of her as a supervisor color my view of her as a teacher. She's a fantastic teacher. She's not even a bad supervisor, she just has certain ways about her that don't mesh with my style, for lack of a better description.

Life is hectic. Danny is amazing through all of it, as I was practically bragging to Katie today. He drove to Whetstone during rush hour yesterday to fix my random flat tire, and drove my car for me today to get it fixed while I was at my internship. The thing with Morgan was hard, but I really think it made our relationship even stronger in the end. I think we both appreciate what we have more. I love the hell out of that man, and he's always showing the ways he cares about me.

My classmates are in a panic over our reading assessment class with Brie; I've had her before and she's crazy and condescending, but I'm making a high A in her class (I've only lost half a participation point overall so far, everything else has perfect marks) and although the upcoming workload seems overwhelming, I know I'll get through it like I always do. I did volunteer to speak to her with a couple other students about our concerns though--based on the advice Tracy gave. Some really great ideas. Approach it as the needs we have in order to get out of her course what we know she wants us to get out of it, like better clarification of expectations on assignments, examples of assignments before they're due instead of after people have fucked them up, and less of a workload. I told Lauren, who's ring-leading this confrontation, that I don't want her to feel we're ganging up on her, so I don't have to come, but if they want the support I'm there.

I also told Katie I'd look over her papers before she submits them if she likes. She's not a writer the way I am, which makes it hard for her. Brie, from what we can tell, is super-biased against imperfect grammar and writing mechanics, so I'm thinking if I can fine-tune Katie's papers she can get better marks.

I have some great behavior incentive stuff to try when I get the chance. I'm thinking I'll order the mailbox thing I want for the classroom, too, even though it's really more expensive than I want to pay for right now.

Big plans for SynTru--another example of money I shouldn't spend but really want to. Assirra has offered to add IP.Blog, and I want IP.Content too. Each is $50. I think they could really work wonders on the site... meh. We'll see how that pans out. Right now we're kind of surveying member opinions to see how popular they'd be if added. Assirra and Zap have worked wonders with SynTru since I haven't had time for it anymore. I'm constantly amazed by their dedication.

Speaking of, I have a piece of feedback due today. I think I'll go do that now.
karriezai: ([hg] betting on you)
Hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day :D Danny and I celebrated Saturday. Just stayed in with alcohol, video games, Magic: the Gathering, and movies.

I've made lame money the last few shifts at work. Here's hoping the weekend will be better, because we'll need the money. Haven't heard back from Baka, our real estate agent, in a few days. Last we heard, the bank's figuring out the amount left due on the loan for the place so they can come back with a counter offer. I hope they get to it very soon. We need to get the heck out of this place.

School is hectic. Well, life in general. Internship 8-4 Monday through Friday, with an hour-long commute--though I do tend to leave around 3 fairly often to get to work/uni class/mandatory seminars. Three days a week at Hard Times--generally Monday and Friday evening, plus either Saturday or Sunday. Tuesday evening class at the university. Tutoring Shane on Wednesday. And a seminar about every other week on Thursday in a random location.

Teaching is good. I vastly prefer math and reading to science or social studies. I look at science and I'm just kind of like... "What am I going to do, exactly?" There's so much to choose from, but so little time to teach it. I'm taking over science now (slowly), so it's... blah. But reading is really good. It's so freeform you can do almost anything. And the kids are really taking to their writing journals. They love getting feedback.

I had to leave early today for my IUD appointment. I am the proud owner of a Mirena IUD that cramped like a bitch for the first couple hours. It wasn't super painful, just like really heavy duty menstrual cramps. But really gross since they had me come in and get it done on my period; apparently it hurts less then. I guess it's nice of them to consider my pain over their probable preference to not have to stick their hands in a bleeding vagina. For the next week I have to use backup protection, but then I'm good for five years. What what.

Also, I'm getting published. Alt Hist picked up Death in Theatre for its second issue. It's a new magazine, but it's been reviewed by Locus, among others, so it's getting good press. So that's looking up. Not that I've been writing. I'm really busy lately and feel pretty drained, and I'd rather not write unless I really feel like it because forcing myself to in the midst of all my other crap would just not be pleasant.

And I thought I did terribly on my Praxis II tests for Middle School Math and English, but I passed with flying colors. So I'll be qualified to teach middle school, either math or English--in theory at least. I'll be applying everywhere in Montgomery County (and possibly Howard too... or maybe Anne Arundel... depends on where we're living and such...) and then weeding through my options to figure out what I want to do. Because I really don't have any desire to teach science or social studies, but I want to teach math AND reading, so... blah. Makes a choice between middle and elementary school complicated.

Guess that's it for now? I mean, I've been reading--the Uglies series by Scott Westerfeld and now I'm working on the Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare--but eh. That's it. Overall life's good, just hectic and somewhat stressful.

Oh wait! Mirage Games accepted my response to the first work order they sent me and sent me confirmation of the credits earned, but I haven't heard about anything else forthcoming. So that's kind of sad.
karriezai: ([asoiaf] the pointy end)
So I fail at updating, but meh.

The holidays were fun. I spent them with Danny and his family, as usual. We both got lots of good stuff, but his parents always take way better care of us than we deserve. Danny actually went into a bookstore to get my gifts, which is like a present in itself.

New Years Eve we spent in Virginia with Aaron, Matt, and Claire. It was Aaron's birthday, too, so double the celebration. Morgan was there, but she's completely different... she was dressed very nicely, if maybe a little skankily, and flirting with two guys most of the night, dirty dancing with another, who subsequently took her home. Matt knew the guy apparently; he got a text something like this: "Dude I'm with this chick Morgan, she's so drunk, I'm getting lucky tonight." I didn't see it, but Danny did and told me afterward. I think Danny tried to avoid thinking about it. It's hard for him to see her like that when he wants to take care of her. I asked him, if they were still close friends, what he would say to her. And he said he wouldn't have let her get this far. (How he would stop her is beyond me, but eh.)

New Years Day, Danny and his dad went to a Redskins game (which made everybody else go D: but his dad had been gunning for them to go to a game together all season so I found it hard to be more than disappointed) while I stayed home and had dinner with Sue and her side of the family. Which mostly consisted of old people talk.

Over the holiday season, I went on a lottery playing streak. Very disappointing, haha. I was relieved when the jackpot finally broke (it got pretty high). But Danny and I did have fun imagining what we would do with that much money.

We're looking for condos because the living situation here is just... going downhill. Roy insists on raising the rent for real and says if we don't pay the new amount next month he'll keep us out of the house with a shotgun until we pay. Someone broke my glasses (or at the VERY least found them on the floor broken) and didn't own up to it, so now I have to wear contacts all the time. Everything's a mess basically.

I was looking through Danny's email to find the VA approval letter he got for our home loan once we find a condo we want, and found two emails he sent himself in his notes back in October: Morgan's number in one (around the time he insisted on deleting it from his phone) and a half-drugged/asleep text she sent him around that same time. I can't really be mad because that's all over now, but at the same time, it's another thing he kept from me. Stupid, stupid man. Sometimes I wonder if I ever got the full story out of him. And if he'll ever stop keeping things from me "to protect me" or because I "really don't need to know". What a jerk.
karriezai: ([asoiaf] dark wings dark words)
...but my updates are.

The aftermath of the me-Danny-Morgan thing. It's really over this time. No. Really. )

Erm, I gave up on NaNo. With the stress of conflict with Danny and school put together, it just wasn't doable this month. Or at least... I didn't have the energy. I have a lot of stuff due this week. In math, the second part of the portfolio. The science lesson apparently got moved back, so maybe not that. In classroom management, I have stuff due and overdue; of the three assignments, I can probably get two done without going back to my internship first. In reading, a book club reflection on a book I haven't read yet and won't get until later this week, so I'll be asking for an extension probably. In language arts, two case reports and my mini lesson report. Which I forgot to have my mentor fill out the rubric for. Damn. Guess that portion will be late.

Blah. Anyway. Life.
karriezai: ([house] excellent disguise)
It's not just me right?

It's weird that my boyfriend is actively looking for a texting phone to buy a female coworker because she complained that it's hard to text on her phone.

Right?

On the one hand I feel like I'm mildly more paranoid than I ought to be after the Morgan thing. On the other hand, I do think I have that right, at least if it's something genuinely... not typical for one guy with a girlfriend to do for another girl (who does happen to have a boyfriend, not that it really matters in this situation).

ETA: He said he was joking. Why are his jokes never funny?

meh.

12/11/10 19:26
karriezai: ([asoiaf] fear cuts)
I don't really want to talk about it just yet.

But suffice to say, I'm feeling more normal, and even though our last conversation didn't go super well on a technical level, it still left me feeling almost inexplicably better about him really wanting me as opposed to logicking himself into it. Which was really the hardest part.

I'm not so scared anymore. This seems much more manageable now.

ETA )
karriezai: ([kh] [akuroku] sticks totally gay for)

Had another talk with Danny. Well another breakdown. I told him I didn't feel loved, like he was telling me and telling himself but I couldn't feel it. He said he was sorry for the distance but it's hard...

Basically this is where it stands. In a way, he was dating another girl for the last two years and he just broke up with her, so he's mourning. And having me here makes it better but harder at the same time. He really isn't sure about us because he's in so much pain it's hard for him to tell whether we can be happy again.

All of this kills me, of course. The person I most want comfort from is him but he can't really give it. But I'm willing to wait it out, at least a while. The truth is that I want to be with him and that while this hurts like crazy it doesn't change that basic fact. I'm going to have a lot of trust issues to work out with him, but I can wait on that until he makes up his mind. I do think we'll be together in the end. He just needs time to heal.

In the meantime I have to balance my need for comfort with his need for space. He wants things to be normal because if we don't try to return to our normal lives this will never heal. I understand that.

In a way this explains a whole hell of a lot. He told me he's not a lovey person and I'll have to learn to deal with it, but I pointed out that we had no problem with physical intimacy in the beginning, and my needs there haven't changed. It's gotten worse and worse over the last few months, and now that I see the whole picture I think his conflict over Morgan has been a huge part of that. I'm hoping that now that that door is closed, he can heal properly and we can be closer without him pushing me away.

We'll figure it out in time I think. I hope.

void

10/11/10 16:56
karriezai: ([hp] avada kedavra)
My life right now is a black hole.
karriezai: ([asoiaf] wolfgirl)
OKAY.

I realized yesterday that Danny and my four-year anniversary is in less than two weeks. So we talked about what we wanted to do. It's too cold for anything major like sky diving, which we've mentioned wanting to do for a long time. And hot air ballooning is, um, stupid expensive. Of course I try to go overboard :)

So Danny suggested that we just have a nice night out and stay in a hotel. And we decided to stay at the hotel closest to Fur nightclub in DC. I booked the night already last night on Expedia. Wasn't even that expensive! $99 at the Courtyard Marriot. If we want to park there it'll be $30, but it's also close to Metro--that'll be a game day decision.

I'm super behind on NaNo. I don't want to give up, but being this behind with my crazy schedule doesn't look good. Especially with all the homework I have to do. I'm not even sure what's due this week. I haven't looked, which is bad considering my internship days are already through so if I had to do anything there, that ship has sailed. OH, plus, my story idea for Mirage Games is due... I think next Friday, and that's 5,000 words minimum by itself. Need to start on that one soon.

Went to the zoo yesterday morning for math methods. It was kind of lame. I thought we'd be basically imitating some sort of math project you can get kids to do as they explore the zoo, but we spent the whole time pent up in a classroom in the visitor's center getting a presentation on educational aids the zoo has to offer teachers and schools. A woman from Bridging the Americas showed us a bunch of dead stuffed birds. Blah.

So I have this idea... )
karriezai: ([hp] [puff] not a powerpuff)
Oh my god I'm going to kill this man.

So of course he's not going to stop posting on Morgan's Facebook completely; this is understandable. Balance would be nice is all, not posting on hers more than anyone else's, you know. (Though he stopped posting entirely after our conversation, hasn't posted on anyone's up until today, and it's Morgan's again, so maybe it's NOT okay. I don't know.)

But what does he comment on? The poem she wrote. "Best poem ever." Fuck him.

I posted on his wall: "Jerk. Way to go reading some other girl's writing."

To be honest, I'm not overly mad. I'm just... I dunno, I can't believe he'd be that retarded. He KNOWS how much it bothers me that he doesn't give a crap about my writing. I could kick him IN THE BALLS. I don't even understand how he can be so insensitive and stupid. Is he trying to upset me?

When will this be over?

It's something new every other fricken day.

I want to go beat the crap out of something.

ETA: Talked to him. Made me madder how much it took to get him to understand why it was an insensitive thing to do. The difference between a short Facebook poem that he reads voluntarily and me trying to get him to read or listen to me talk about my writing without being totally begrudging... blah. It was a Michael Jackson poem, and I understand that that's why he read and liked it, and I understand that if it had been someone else who posted it then it wouldn't have been a big deal, so maybe it's not exactly fair. But under the circumstances, yes, it upset me. And I just wish he could understand that without me having to spell it out.

I also started to express to him that I wish that I could just randomly do something like that that he would appreciate. I meant it as... it bothers me that Morgan just wrote this Michael Jackson poem (composed of an amalgam of his lyrics) for the hell of it and he loved it, but I've never done anything spontaneous like that that he's loved. But he just took the beginning of my sentiment and interjected with, "But you don't! Your statuses aren't anything that makes me want to comment on them!" or something along those lines. Which, of course, doesn't help. I didn't realize my life was so boring to him. He accused me of making all of my status updates complaints about him, which isn't true at all. There have been some, certainly, but also lots of oddball ones and lots of stress venting about school. He didn't even comment on the one about me wearing my Hooters outfit to work for Halloween. I understand that he's so close to me he knows what's going on in my life. Maybe it's not worth commenting on. But whatever. Just... going back over everything--the statuses of hers he has commented on, the ones of mine he hasn't--I can't help but be bothered. Like this is worth commenting on more than anything I've said in the last two weeks?: "Yay for morning rushes. All I want is a sweatshirt and venti latte."

This is going to drive me nuts. I know at this point that I'm overreacting. But it just keeps building. With him saying he's sorry and then going on to do something even more insensitive. FUCK.

suck.

2/11/10 20:35
karriezai: ([asoiaf] bugger everything)
Have not written yet for NaNo. Don't really have the energy. Kinda depressed, even. Had another talk with Danny last night, this time about his lack of physical affection. He made it sound like I'm asking for too much. I don't think I am, but whatever; I decided to back off and let him come to me when he wants to for a while, and then decide if that's often enough for me. If I can give it a good, honest week of me not touching him unless clearly invited, it should give me a good idea of whether I can tolerate this business.

Looked up more houses. Feels kind of silly at this point but I have to look forward, and we can't live here much longer one way or another.

I'm pretty scared of all the serious talks we've been having lately. Danny told me last night... what did he say? Something like he loves me but he can't be physically affectionate the way I want him to be, and if that's a problem then he doesn't know what will happen... or something. I don't know. I'm afraid of where this is leading. It just seems very one-sided. He says he loves me and I'm the most important person to him but I'm the one who's always done all the changing and trying. Maybe that's not fair--I mean, before me he was out at the bars with his friends all the time, but I'm not sure if that was a change just because of me. He might not go back to that now regardless.

I told him I want to take him out to eat tonight and he said sorry, he just ate Chipotle. And he just called to ask if it's okay if Carol and Lena come over to try out the Kinect. I mean... I like them, they're nice girls, and if I wasn't feeling low I'd think it was a great idea. But I'm not going to say no. There's no point in me turning them away to mope, after all. I told him I don't care either way.

School is a tangled mess too. Our science methods professor just told us that anyone who missed class has to write a six-page paper relating this article he gave us to what we've seen in class. And a classmate just told me there's an additional assignment if you've missed more than one day, which I have. We don't have time for that sort of crap. I looked up the university attendance policy and it said the professor needs to put their own participation/how attendance affects grades policy in the syllabus and/or let us know at the beginning of the year, which he didn't. The syllabus just says attendance is important, let him know ahead of time if there's a conflict with getting to class so arrangements can be made... you know, the basic if you miss a due date or assignment because of an unexcused absence, you don't get credit sort of deal. And I haven't missed anything like that. So it shouldn't be allowable, and if it comes to it I'll address it with the university. Preferably if other students will back me up.

And I just haven't felt like doing anything. I let my assignments slide until the last second. Today I was running late to class because I stayed at home an extra fifteen minutes to finish an assignment, and on the way to school I rear-ended another car. The light turned green and the two cars in front of me started to go, but then all of a sudden decided to stop. Well, my brakes aren't so great. I didn't stop fast enough. The driver in front of me was a Hispanic guy, probably no insurance, since he just told me it was fine and didn't take my insurance info. Seeing as my car's already a bit of a mess, there was nothing but a bit of paint damage, and I don't want my insurance record marked up again, I was fine with this. And it was almost lucky since it was a reason to be late to class.

Blah. Life. Hate it.

miffed.

31/10/10 10:30
karriezai: ([avatar] katara icicle up the ass)
So I swear half of all Danny's Facebook comments are on Morgan's statuses. Still. And he refuses to put her number back in his phone but they still text, it just shows the full number. He has no confidence in himself and said the reason he doesn't put her number back in is so he doesn't drunk dial her. He says he wants to distance himself from her and go incommunicado unless she texts him first, but that doesn't apply to Facebook apparently. And he can't be friends with girls (...or else what...?) but it sure seems like he's still trying with her.

This annoys the HELL out of me but I don't want to bother with bringing it up because it causes such a commotion and I always end up feeling bad for feeling bad, and he never wants to tell me what he's feeling anyway.

I wouldn't feel so paranoid if he wasn't so closed off and self-contradictory about it all. Like... if he honestly thought he could be friends with girls, okay. But he doesn't. So what the fuck is he doing?
karriezai: ([avatar] sweetheart/bitterheart)
Morgan reactivated her Facebook. Talking to her makes me pretty deeply sad, but I think it'll pass. I suppose if we want to be real friends again we'll have to sit down and talk... but we'll see.

Bit of TMI )

Anyway. Suffice to say. I did not sleep at all last night, and I was run down all day at my internship. My fifth graders were asking me what was wrong with my eyes and I had to explain I didn't get any sleep and my eyes were protesting, but a couple of the intuitive ones did not miss the fact that puffy eyes come from crying.

Fuck my life right now.

It'll get better. But I think... this might be the lowest I've been... maybe ever, and if not, certainly in a long while.

blargh.

25/10/10 23:18
karriezai: ([misc] [scar] omgwtf?)
Learned today that Morgan asked Danny if he would consider leaving me. Me being the person I am, what disturbed me most about this was the simple fact that Danny's just now telling me even though I asked him last week if he'd told me everything since I know his tendency for leaving things out. I'm a little weirded out that Morgan would ask it, but not angry. I guess I kind of get it. I wouldn't do it personally, mainly because my thought process would go something like this: It would hurt her so much... but I want to know... but do I really want to be with a guy who'd leave his girlfriend of four years like that...? Best not to ask. Roughly.

If I'm mad at her for anything, it's for blaming her ruptured ovarian cyst (that the doctors said is stress-induced) on Danny. What an evil thing to do. I felt and feel horrible for her being in pain and having to go to the hospital, but you don't blame that sort of thing on someone else. It wasn't Danny's fault. And who could have known she would react so strongly to the whole thing?

Anyway, it's fine. I told Danny I need to be able to trust he's being honest with me, especially when I ask him if he's left anything out. He said there were more feelings than his involved and he didn't think it was okay to tell me that and betray Morgan's trust, but I told him, "That's something I deserve to know." And it's true. Even though I'm not mad at her over it--even if I had been mad--it's something he should have told me. She's my friend too, and I have the right to evaluate our friendship based on her willingness to take my boyfriend. -sigh-

He also said I would have been angry and blamed him despite the fact that he told her no. In response I laughed. "Let me ask you something. Have I, during this whole thing, gotten angry?" "No." "I'm not angry now, I wouldn't have been then. You should have told me." I basically made it clear that in the future I want him to tell me everything.

Note to self: need to find gelatin-free Jello to make Jello shots for Koontz's party on Saturday.
karriezai: ([batman] rawr)
As much as I'm not mad at Danny or Morgan over the thing last week, it still changes the way I see their conversations/texting/going to see a movie with friends yesterday/etc. I hate being a stupid irrational girl. (Not that boys aren't irrational. So maybe a stupid, irrational human being.)

School is blah. Putting off an assignment until during my classes tomorrow. Probably not the best strategy, but it's happening. I will have an extended lunch because it's the midterm in science methods, though.

STILL NOT WRITING. D: Thinking about writing out all my random little plot ideas. Again. Including fanfiction. (You little bastards always come back around again, don't you?)

House hunting is moving forward at turtle pace, but it is moving. I have managed to save a good amount of money despite "wasting" money on drinking Wednesday, RennFest today, and various food-type-things over the last month. I think we'll be okay.
karriezai: ([asoiaf] armored courtesy)
Recap of events leading up to awkwardness:

For those who don't know, Morgan is Danny and my friend. We met her through Danny's work when he was still commuting over to Virginia. She worked at the Starbucks there, and then he hired her when she applied to Gamestop. There was a fairly brief time period when I was jealous of Danny's relationship with her which started when our texting bill was outrageously high for the first time due to all the texts Danny had been sending to her, resulting in us having to get unlimited texting. (It was, seriously, retarded.) Anyway, this jealousy was due to some serious parallels between us: we had and have tons in common, and she reminded me of me back when Danny started dating me, right down to her working at Starbucks and him being her supervisor.

I got over this just fine in time because Danny and I have a trusting relationship and because he assured me it was more like a big brother relationship (which makes perfect sense seeing as he's eight years her elder, which is a lot when you're considering she was underage at the time). Some posts on the issue from back when it WAS an issue, in order chronologically: here, here, here, and here. They show a clear progression from mildly worried to almost irrationally angry to starting to get over it but still annoyed. (Also, I didn't link it, but I found the entry about his texting with her: he went over by 300 texts that month, more than double the texts our plan allotted at the time, and cost us $30.)

Anyway, pretty boring since then. We don't get to hang out with Morgan much when we're all so busy and she's in Virginia while we both live and work in Maryland now. So Saturday was her birthday, and I forgot to take off work so I could hang out when she came over that evening. I told them I'd try to get off as early as possible but I wasn't sure how plausible it would be, and told them to come visit me at work, so they did. And then they went home (to Danny's parents' house, since we were puppy sitting) and hung out and started drinking for the three-ish other hours I still ended up working, and then I came home and joined them, and we had a fun night other than Danny kidney-punching me and twisting my thumb in a more painful way than usual, which made me angry at him all night but I pushed it away to have fun for Morgan until we went to bed.

So yesterday when I got off work, I asked Danny if he wanted me to come by his midnight release, and he said yeah, there was something he wanted to talk to me about. )

ETA: Talked to Danny. Feel all better. :D
karriezai: ([house] [wilson] win!)
I'm thinking I should rewrite "Unjoined" and try submitting it to WotF again. I believe I've heard of revised entries winning in subsequent years... but it would have to be notably different, I'm sure. Well, of course I can't find anything about it now. But it's worth trying. The worst they can do is reject it, and then I can try it elsewhere.

I'm really excited about Rebel Tales, Holly Lisle's new writing ezine project. It sounds really great--she's building it from the ground up on her own money so it'll be debt-free once it opens for submissions. It'll have six-month "seasons," of which the first issue will be free and subsequent issues will cost money. There will be a regular pass and a Back Stage Pass, the latter allowing access to just about everything you could ever want to know about the process that goes into writing, submitting, and accepting the stories in the zine--great for aspiring writers to see. Seasons stay "in print" until they stop being profitable, and writers keep making money as long as their season is "in print." There's no advance, just a percentage of sales the whole way through. It goes based on the six-month season; there are 60 "credits" in a season, and submitting one story for one issue earns you one point, but that's 1/60th of the total gross profit of the ezine over the six-month season. If you write a six-episode serial for the season, that's 1/10th of the gross profit. Even the editors and publisher (Lisle herself) only make 1/10th of the profit each starting out, although Lisle has admitted that she will increase it if she needs to because her share goes toward funding things like author interviews and cover art, and she has to meet costs.

Anyway, it sounds like a truly worthwhile project, and I'll definitely be subscribing when it opens and spreading it by word of mouth. And if a revised Unjoined doesn't place in WotF, then I'll try it at Rebel Tales once it opens its doors to submissions. Waiting on a response from WotF would give plenty of time for RT to open up and maybe even get some steam behind it before I try submitting.

Umm. Uni classes are annoying as ever. But tomorrow is the internship, so yay. ALSO. Danny got approved for a home loan with zero down. Well, technically closing costs aren't covered, but apparently it's not uncommon practice to make an agreement with the seller that they increase the cost of the home by the amount of the closing costs so that your loan covers the costs over time, but the seller pays the immediate costs knowing that they'll be paid back for it. So. We're looking at a home in Columbia. There was a nice one pretty nearby, but it went into contract very recently, and anyway apparently it turned out as having some sort of mold problem. (Yes, we will check out any house and have it inspected before we buy.) Cousin Justin and his girlfriend are down for moving in and paying rent (which is the only way we'll be able to afford the place this early since I don't have a full-time job yet).

Erm, I guess that's it for now.

bleargh.

9/10/10 01:09
karriezai: (Default)
Sometimes I just want to kick Danny somewhere unpleasant. )

In other news, one of the hostesses at work tonight had a seizure. Apparently she's epileptic, so it's not entirely unusual for her, but it freaked the hell out of everyone else, especially since she fell and hit her head pretty hard. (ETA: She's fine, just embarrassed--not that she should feel embarrassed, but you know how it is. I swear I'm not a callous excuse for a human being, but I already knew she was alright so concern didn't make its way into my entry when I wrote this. It was, after all, one in the morning.) It was a long night, but I made $129, and I needed it. We're looking at houses now because Dennis' brother is raising the rent to $700 plus the $200 we pay in electric for this craphole we live in, which just isn't worth it for a house with no central air or heat and with a leaky ceiling.

Also. Synopsis for Homesake:

"In Somnion, men don't have magic anymore. Legends say that they displeased the gods, and that their magical gifts were taken away as punishment--but the gods left magic in nature as a reminder of what mankind lost. This world is home to Grey, a deserted soldier from the King's Steel in Lumina, and to Kayden, who defies legend with the dragon blood that runs in his veins and gives him the ability to control fire. When these two men come together, Kayden's need for protection on his journey north provides the perfect cover for Grey to hide from any who might try to track him down after his desertion--but what starts mostly as convenience turns into a cause that Grey is deeply entrenched in. Together, these young men will awaken the lost dragons, and along the way discover disturbing truths about the king Grey deserted and the kingdom where his loyalty still lies."

I went to a writing meetup in Columbia yesterday evening, and it was fantastic. It's for writers of YA fiction, which Homesake is even if I don't always write YA. The people are great, and atmosphere really fit for me, and I'm excited to go back. I don't think I'll even bother with trying the Silver Spring group again now that I've found a group with such great chemistry.
karriezai: ([house] oops)
Danny is home. We just watched Jerry Maguire, which was good, and now he's watching preseason Redskins, which is less good. I like watching the Redskins live, but I get bored easily watching it on TV--especially preseason games. I've never been a sporty person, so I guess it's not surprising.

I ran another lesson today with the kids. I brought in a whole bunch of books for a lesson on how to pick a book to read for fun. It didn't go perfectly; the power had been out for a while and remained out for the whole lesson, and making kids concentrate when it's dark and hot is pretty difficult. One group in particular was very disruptive, with the throwing my books around and yelling. Frustrating. But Alice thought I did very well, even if afterward I couldn't help thinking of little things I could have done better. I guess that, since it's only my third day, not doing brilliantly is not altogether unexpected. Especially under the circumstances. But many of the kids were really excited about my books, which made me happy. I just wish I had extra copies to lend out... but I'm not comfortable lending out a bunch of my hardcovers. I did lend out the Halo book that follows the first game, though--mainly because I don't mind if I lose it. I found it to be boring. I liked the prequel book better; Shane has that one, and I know he'll return it.

I still need to get Graceling back from Megan, and the Keisha'ra books from Yuka. I'm definitely more concerned about getting Graceling back. I don't think I'd miss the others terribly.

Anyway, so far I love the internship. I could do without the University classes, but ah. They'll be done in a couple months. And they'll probably be a huge help despite being annoyingly jam-packed with assignments.

Things I'm concerned about: The actual curriculum/making lesson plans by day-week-month-year; being a disciplinarian for the kids; and of course fitting all the University work into the internship and what limited "free time" I have. Oh, and writing. x_x;
karriezai: ([asoiaf] seems i must be a warrior)
Righto. I've started my internship. It's made for some long days, but it's totally worth it so far. I'll be keeping this relatively short so I can go shower and perhaps even sleep at a reasonable hour.

Thursday and Friday I went for the professional development days. Friday I woke up at 6:30, got to my internship by 8, left at 3 to get to work at 4, where work was BUSYASSHIT and I didn't get off until 1am. Now, I made $184, so it was worth it, but talk about a long day. Saturday was also very busy, but with no morning events, so not so long. Sunday I woke up at 6:30 to take Danny to the airport, dropped him off, came home and showered, then slept another hour before leaving for work at 10:40am. I was going to be late morning person, but Raechel was risking overtime if she closed lunch, so I stayed late so she could be cut before she hit overtime. I worked until about 6, made $95 or so.

Monday I went to Whetstone for the first day of school. Met all my fifth graders, and found that when I actually put effort into learning names I can pick them up very quickly. By the end of the day I knew all 23 kids even if they approached me out of context. It was a crazy first day--we had an iPod stolen before lunch and returned by the end of the day, and we have this really bright boy in class who is really disruptive and had to be removed twice for a talk... It's crazy because he's a great writer, clever, but just can't be respectful enough to keep from making all sorts of noise when other people are talking.

After school finished up at 3:45, I left for work and got there barely before 5 due to various traffic ... blahs. Worked until 9:30. Yesterday I had University classes. I thought I was done trekking across campus to the math building, but AGH my second Tuesday class is the building just PAST the math building, it's awful. All the others are in the Ed building, which is right on Lot 1, super close to where I park. After school I went up to Whetstone for the ice cream social, which was nice. Katie was there--one of the few classmates I already knew before introductions yesterday. She's super sweet.

Today I was at Whetstone again with the kids. I met the math and reading classes, which are partially homeroom kids and partially new faces, but I picked up on the new names very quickly. I helped Alice (my mentor teacher, who is beyond amazing) pick out books for reading class teams, and I get to do Ella Enchanted with one of the groups, which makes me unbelievably excited. I love that book. After that I rushed home to tutor Shane.

Tomorrow I'll be at Whetstone again, and I'll leave a little early to run pick up Danny at the airport, back from his conference in San Antonio. If he's up to it, I'll take him to Whetstone so he can see the school. If not, we can wait until later.

The only other news I have, I guess, is that I made a B in the class I was worried about! Yay, no Cs on my record.

AND OH. Did I mention that I read the third Hunger Games book, Mockingjay? It made me bawl. Danny was home for the end of it and he laughed at me crying and it pissed me off so badly. But it was an amazing conclusion. I don't think it'll be long before I'm rereading the series.