is fail

14/6/10 01:11
karriezai: ([avatar] bored)
x_x; Have done no writing.

Am reading Elantris.

New piercing! Cartilage, in my left ear, 'tis pretty.

Not completely broke!

That is all.
karriezai: ([avatar] sweetheart/bitterheart)
I've been trying to think of a way to describe this semester. It's not like drowning. Quite. It's like... lazily floating along on my back, barely afloat... but then occasionally a wave comes in, splashes over me, and I have to doggy paddle like the wind to stay above water for a while, until it calms down again. That's right, doggy paddle. Meh.

Real life problems... )

Now... some brighter stuff. First the TMI. Don't read if you're squeamish about sexual type stuff. I got a new piercing: a VCH (vertical clitoral hood). I got it last Thursday. It's still healing and I've barely messed with it, but so far I'm pleased. My piercer said to wait a week or two to have sex afterward, but that she only waited five days... I only waited three, and had no problems, although we were very careful about it. /TMI

On to more casual topics. I read Fire, the other book by Kristin Cashore--a companion to Graceling. I still like Graceling a tad more, but Fire was excellent too. I really liked the world presented and how it tied into the seven kingdoms we already knew about in Graceling. It fit together very nicely. It looks like I'll be starting a roleplay in the next couple days set in the world of Fire, actually.

Annndd I haven't started my 100 stories challenge yet, even though it's practically been a week. Fail. But I have gone through a lot of my world building notes, and I've already found stuff I'd nearly forgotten about that will be really fun to play with. The problem for me will mostly be choosing what to write first, I think, haha. That and keeping it short. 100 stories of about 1,000 words each in six months might be manageable, but probably not 100 3,000+ word stories, which has so far been my tendency when it comes to world building in Eysuria.

Finally... I'm really considering making a new character worksheet type deal. I feel like I've mentioned this before... but yes. One that deals in fundamental aspects of character, not the little things like what color their eyes are. Hm.
karriezai: ([misc] life's a bitch)
I felt a ton, and I mean a ton better yesterday. To the point that I felt ridiculous for even having the worries mentioned in my previous post. But today... )

My nipples throb. I took the piercings out Wednesday night and was too lazy to replace them before I went to bed, and I couldn't get them back through myself Thursday afternoon. So I went to Ambrotos today to have the piercer there grease/taper them back through, and it hurt. My right one actually felt like I got it repierced. Now I have to take care of them like new piercings. It was worth it. The childish part of me wants to make it another reason to be upset with Danny, because it was his expressed desire in the piercings that encouraged me to get them in the first place, but I've had them two years. I love them to death, not because of him anymore at all. When I wasn't wearing them and I looked down, it looked wrong. Normal nipples looked wrong, haha.

But I need to go to the gym and I'm not sure that it's a good idea. I'll take it easy I guess. Especially with the rowing. If it bothers me then I'll skip it.

I dunno. The thing with Danny put a damper on my whole day. It makes little set backs enough to make me tear up. Like driving in freaking circles trying to get from Ambrotos to campus. I wanted to take the quickest route but I ended up just taking forever because I dared to attempt exploring. I seriously had to back track three times. And yes it had me in tears and yes I felt stupid.

Also, when I mentioned Wednesday that he almost had more pictures of Morgan on his phone than me, his response was, "But she sends them to me, you don't send me pictures." And also that he mainly only kept them on there to show me. And proceeded to delete a couple, except the ones he wanted to keep because she had a happy smile or whatever. So the question I thought but didn't ask was, why does she send them? I doubt it's just because she feels like it. Either it's a response to one of their conversations or he asked for them. So I sent him some decent ones of me I found on facebook today, we'll see how that goes.

And it still bothers me how much they text. Apparently I'm not a good texter. I don't know. He doesn't reply to me at all sometimes. I have to call him to see what the fuck is up. Whatever.

But sometimes people restore your faith in humanity. When I posted my status on Facebook as "really, really depressed," I immediately got concerned "why?"s from two of the girls from work. It's so sweet.
karriezai: ([avatar] bored)
So lots of stuff. My nano died... I mean, I'll work on it, but I'm not expecting to make 50,000 this month. November's just a crap month for college kids trying to speed write. I had an exam tonight (I hope I got an A, and I don't think I could have done badly at all), and I have a project due Thursday, and I have to usher at Between Trains tomorrow night, and I have to go see some thing in Hornbake for theater for the quiz Wednesday... And I have to write the response thing for Between Trains... And I don't have anything to wear for ushering! It said no jeans, I just realized I only really have jeans here at the dorm. I guess I may have to go back to the house and grab something, laaaame. It'll be alright.

Anyway, tomorrow is Danny and my two year anniversary. Yesterday we got Triforce tattoos and went to Medieval Times (will post pictures at some point), and also watched the Skins game (wtf?). We went to Ambrotos in Silver Spring for the tattoos. They're really good, but very strict. They're serious about the no cell phones in the parlor thing, which I think is slightly dumb (just say silence your phones and where's the problem?). We couldn't even watch each other get tattooed, they only allow one person back at a time.

Medieval Times was cool. We were yellow again, but our knight was gone. I think it was some rotation guy, like it was our knight's day off or something. It was disappointing because the new guy wasn't nearly as good. But we sat in the front row and the food was delicious as always... and I bought a sweatshirt that was on sale as a souvenir (Danny got a nice beer stein type thing).

Forgot Redskins stuff to change into when we got to his parents' house so I stole Hobbes' collar and freaked Danny out by wearing it. :)
karriezai: ([avatar] sokkatara omg)
Found Avatar icons since I was suspiciously lacking.

Also, more picspam.

The picture in the middle? Yeah. That's a bottle of pee. Danny and I do weird things at night. x) Also, I finally got a couple halfway decent pictures of the deer in the neighborhood. A bunch of pictures were added to Photography, a couple to Oddments, and a subgallery with a couple pictures was added to Around the House.

Names is at 2,674 words. Like I said before, slow going, but at least it is going. I add at least a little every day, so far. I'll probably still add more today. I just finished Silk and Aerlun's meeting and Aerlun's near-enslavement... next will be a true introduction and an intro to the Whips, I think. As in, as of now Aerlun doesn't even know Silk's name, Silk just kept him from being collared.

Yeah, that's enough babbling about stuff no one gets but me. I was trying to find this Sora/Riku fanfiction I read a long time ago on, before it was redesigned. I don't think I'll ever find the story again, to be honest, which is a shame since I liked it a lot. I can't remember the name, which is the biggest problem. I just remember it was after the original KH (KH2 hadn't come out yet, I don't think even CoM had come out yet), and upon leaving Kingdom Hearts Sora was caught and enslaved... and Riku finds him, and the only way to save him from his current master is to buy him away. Something like that, only much less lame than my explanation. It was definitely yaoi, fairly explicit boy-on-boy sex.

Uh yeah.

Oh! I saw a picture recently of these tattoos... this guy got the Triforce on one arm and the Deathly Hallows symbol on the other. I thought it was really cool. I wouldn't get the Deathly Hallows tattooed on me; I'm not into that particular Potter concept enough to make it a permanent part of my body. But it makes me really anxious to get my Triforce tattoo. For our two year anniversary, assuming we still want it, Danny and I are supposed to each get a Triforce tattoo... simple, but still managing to highlight courage for him and wisdom for me. We haven't decided yet, though, how to highlight our pieces or where his should go. We've got until November for that. Aside from that, I may someday get one other tattoo... perhaps involving turtles, since they're cute and my college mascot.
karriezai: ([hp] [draco] ferret malfoy)
Okay, so today is Danny and my one-year anniversary. Last night we went to dinner and a movie (Beowulf -- in 3D), and today we went and got my tongue pierced. It's just starting to get noticeably difficult to talk. It was nice to see my piercer, Jason, again. He's so great. He gave me two pieces of jewelry free -- a shorter bar for my ear as well as a shorter bar for my tongue once the swelling goes down. It's really nice when you realize he's taking it out of his own service fee for the piercing.

Anyway. So Danny and I had this stupid fight last night and I was really upset, especially since at the time he seemed more like he was annoyed I was upset (like it wasn't justified at all, like I was being a stupid irrational girl) and just trying half-assed to make me feel better so I wouldn't be a nuisance. He was tired, grumpy, and still drunk... but this morning he felt really bad and genuinely apologized. But everything's fine.

Have to present my HONR100 project tomorrow. I realized once my tongue was pierced that, hey, that might make it difficult to give a presentation to a class. Oops. But it'll be okay. I made the powerpoint and sent it to my groupmates to see what they think. One's doing the bibliography, the other's doing the two to three page summary of the presentation. I guess they'll have to do most of the talking, too.

And I have four papers to start thinking about over break, plus a speech for Comm... and I have to watch and summarize two videos for Gov this week. Hm. Plus an art portfolio thing for my creative writing honors seminar.

karriezai: ([mine] [hp] ron no way)
I am so incredibly fucking bored. I suppose I could do my homework when I finish writing this, but that'll take up maybe fifteen minutes tops, and it won't be any less boring than this. This being staring minglessly at the TV when there's actually nothing good on. Danny's spending time with his mom and probably won't stay the night over here. I wouldn't care if he came over at ten or even later, but I can understand why he might want to stay home. He can't sleep as well in my bed. I don't really get it -- I sleep fine in his usually -- but it's not as if he can help it. I'll see him tomorrow either way.

The nipple piercing sank in a little bit today. I was like, "Oh... my god... I'm gonna be sitting at Fatty's... and Jason's gonna put a needle through my nipple... and... I'm gonna have pierced nipples. Oh... my god."

I found out we have more than one senior skip day. For the class of '07, we skip the seventh of every month from now until the end of the school year, so Wednesday will be our first skip day. And mock trial was cancelled that day because Jericho forfeit, so instead we'll have a match on the 28th. Which means I can really have a senior skip day without having to worry about other obligations. I'll probably stay over at Danny's Tuesday night, and he'll take me home on his way to work Wednesday.

Lessee. I really can't think of anything else right now. Except I was so disappointed that there was no snow day today. =(
karriezai: ([house] cameron's hitting that)
I reread Ella Enchanted today after I finished And Eternity, the last in Piers Anthony's Incarnations of Immortality series, and had nothing else to read. Although I suppose technically I could have read the book we're supposed to be reading in English, but I was still groggy from sleeping all through third period, so it didn't even occur to me.

Yeah. I think I need to go to bed at ten again. I've been really sleepy the last few days, but today was horrible. I slept in first period after we finished our work, and then again in third period, ignoring the temporary teacher we have. In third period, I passed the fuck out. It wasn't like normal classroom sleep, it was like the whole world was gone. Haha. It wasn't all that long when I checked my watch, but it felt like an eternity, which is really backwards for normal sleep... but I guess it's because it felt like night, in bed, sleep, and even though that feels quick, in your mind you know you were asleep for hours.

Aze emailed me about reviving The Afterglow and starting another project -- really just a bigger, badder, rolled-up version of stuff we've done before -- and I really want another project. I haven't been on the internet much at all lately, and my inspiration's run low. I haven't written in so long. Not real writing. It's really depressing, but I think I feed off of having a beta reader, or someone who genuinely enjoys what I write and will read through it for me and tell me what they think, offer advice and improvements. That's why Elemental Force progressed so well for a long time -- I had Lisa. That's why Heart of a Werewolf progressed and actually got finished -- I had Aze. And back in middle school I had Cassie and Aze and even a couple other people.

I love writing for myself, but at heart I guess I just want to share the story and hear how others react to it. If I don't have someone reading along as I add more, chapter by chapter or whatever, it's harder to find the will to sit down and actually write as opposed to planning. Planning, though, I can do in abundance.

I really want it to just start snowing, a freak blizzard. I want Danny to stay the night and school to be delayed or cancelled (because delay = snow day for me). It's supposed to snow. It's supposed to have been snowing already. Nothing, though, except apparently a little light snow this morning.

I get my nipples pierced Sunday... excitement. It hasn't exactly sunk in yet. I realize intellectually that it's gonna happen, there's a set time and date and even an audience, but it still feels vague, like it might not actually happen, it's just a fancy. Haha. Dad was being so (sarcastically) supportive today, telling me to take a camera so I have pictures of my boobs before I 'ruin' them. He was just playing around, mostly, but I don't think he particularly cares for the idea, even if he doesn't really mind it.

I guess I'll take a notebook, curl up, and brainstorm for The Afterglow... or writing... or whatever my brain decides it wants to think about.
karriezai: ([misc] knight's tale angel)
School was cool today. I was hoping to get some sleep in first period, but my health teacher gabbed a lot and left us only fifteen minutes before the bell, so I just laid down and kinda rested for about ten minutes. Second was basically just... sit and pretend to listen to the discussion while I wrote in my notebook. I'm planning to write stuff. I'm having a really hard time coming up with short stories, but I've got a new novel idea... I'll get into that later though.

Third period, my precalc teacher who was supposed to be in Africa for three weeks got sick while he was there, and now we have a temp. And I missed Mr. Oluwo with the sub, but it's worse with the temp, because he actually tries to teach... and uh. I want Mr. O back.

I don't have to go to fourth on A days anymore because my teacher knows I already took French 2 and after me practically acing the first semester without really paying attention in class she decided to tell me what they'd learn for the rest of the year and then let me just go to the library instead of class. So I left at one when fourth period started and went to meet Danny at the boulevard since he got off at 1:30.

We... went to college park, priced nipple piercings at a parlor there (but I'm still gonna ask Jason, I'd prefer to get it done at Fatty's), and went to his house for a little bit... then came back to my house for a while. He was about ready to pass out the whole time, tired bugger, but wanted me to keep him awake. He wasn't very cooperative with the whole staying awake thing. We ended up wrestling, though, and that was a lot of fun.

I just texted him to see if he was still awake... I didn't think a text would wake him, but uh, it did. =( I didn't want to wake him, just wanted to talk if he was still awake anyway. He was sleepy-irritated, and hard to understand, you know how people slur when they're half-asleep. I think he said "Can we talk tomorrow?" and I said, "Yeah, go back to sleep." And he mumbled some other shit, didn't really catch any of it, and I said, "Go back to sleep, good night."

Oh, right, new novel idea. I'm about to go to bed, but I'll outline it really quickly. I was thinking a few days ago about how it wasn't long ago when I would still love to go into any story I wanted to... like the wishes I made up with Alicia and Ash a long time ago. If we ever met a genie... the first wish would be that he would grant our wishes exactly as we wanted, no funny business, and the second wish would be the ability to grant or take away the ability to take oneself and anyone else into any story imaginable (there'd be a complex explanation with the wish, but that's the gist of it) and live it out... and the third wish would be the ability to grant or take away the ability of wingless flight. Yeah, we put a lot of thought into it.

But a few days ago I was thinking, back then it'd just be awesome, you know, but now... say I just woke up in a story world. Like... just me, in a story I know and love. Like A Song of Ice and Fire or something. At first glance (after the initial omg I've fucking cracked, I've gone insane), it would be amazing, wonderful. But now... if it happened today... it wouldn't take long for me to go, "But oh fuck. Where's Danny?" And not having him with me would completely ruin it. I'd just make every effort to leave. It got me thinking about wishes you think you want, but if they were actually granted, turns out... you'd want out of it more than anything.

So I was thinking today about making a story about it. A girl who used to play this video game when she was younger... she absolutely loved it, but no one else really did. The cut scenes were way too long, it was too story oriented, not as playable as some people would like, and those who did finish were upset with the ending... basically it crashed and burned, though a sequel had originally been intended. This girl, though, loved it and used to imagine herself being taken into the story, living it. What she would do to change it. She fantasized about it, and especially about the main character, the hero.

Loses her copy, forgets about it for years, falls in love with this guy who also loves video games (she's a girl gamer, haha). He's heard of the game but didn't like it, like most people. One day she finds a copy in a store, though -- and here is where I'd need to figure out how the fuck this is supposed to happen -- because when she starts to play it again, she gets pulled in to the story.

But the guy she loves, he wasn't there. He isn't with her.

So not only would the story go into the whole plot of the game and how she changes it because though she tries to get out, she's forced to live through it, it would go into... if you're separated from the one you love for too long, with no form of contact whatsoever... indefinitely, with no certainty you'll ever see him again... stuff's bound to happen. The story will go into all that, and when she finishes the game and goes back home, the consequences of it, because not nearly as much time has passed in the real world as in the game world she lived through, and her man is still thoroughly in love with her.

I dunno. I like the story idea, I dunno if it could actually work as a book. It wouldn't be fanfic; I'd make up the game's plot. Meh, if I feel like it, I'll just write it and see what happens.

But I'm trying to think of short story ideas -- it's something of a priority -- and I'm having a lot of trouble. Ah, well. To bed with me.
karriezai: ([kh] [soriku] strange love)
There was a two-hour delay today. I was like... fuck that. I didn't go. Haha. It should have been a snow day, the bastards.

I worked my last day yesterday. Still no job yet, but I'm sure I'll get one soon. Toya recommended that I go to, what's it called, Fish and Waffles or something... She said they pay well and all. So I'll check it out when I get the chance. And I need to call the woman who can find out if I can get a job at the Youth Center here.

Brandy was upset no one called her about me coming in early for Yuka yesterday. I admit I should have thought to call her, but it didn't even cross my mind. I was in a hurry and I have no trust for her anyway, she can be very hard to reach and what could she have done but what she did in the morning? Which was: call Wilette, yell some, and get Wilette to come in to cover my 8:30 - 1:15 shift.

Wilette almost stood up for Danny, no one was pleased with Ron, and ew the caramel in the espresso bar was horrible. Mostly it was okay. After work Danny and I saw Night at the Museum, which was great. We hung out at my house for maybe an hour afterward before he had to go in to work.

The snow! Danny's car isn't safe in the snow. I really wanted him to stay over at my house. I was convinced I'd have a snow day, and my parents approved -- my mom knows how his car isn't too safe. But he refused to stay unless they posted that there'd be a snow day, and they didn't, so he went home. But he came over at 10 this morning and we hung out, and he told me I should have commanded him to stay, lol. He said he would have stayed if I told him I wanted him to, which I didn't, not in those words. I really wanted him to -- for more than just the safety thing -- but I was just trying to convince him logically, not with "I fucking want you, Danny." Haha.

He worked at 1:30. Around three Alicia called to hang out and I rolled out... and it was great. I've missed her. Talking to her was awesome. It turns out, Yuka's been venting about me to her a LOT. And apparently Danny has told Yuka a lot -- maybe more than he realizes -- because she told it all to Alicia when she was complaining. Haha. I don't mind. I told Danny that a long time ago -- he can talk to Yuka, it doesn't bother me, I'd just like a heads-up so I know what all he's told her, since I don't talk to her that much myself anymore and don't know what all she knows.

I love him so much, though. Haha. After watching Jackass 2 he said he hates Bam because all his girlfriends have said they'd do him in a heartbeat. I told him today, I don't want anyone but him. It's just my nature. I'm very faithful by nature. I lose interest in other guys when I get close to one. I can intellectually go, okay, that guy's really cute, but... he doesn't compare.

I was talking to Alicia today about how important the physical aspect of a relationship is. It's really fucking important -- extremely -- but it's not a function of how attractive a guy is, really. It's all chemistry, and a huge part of chemistry is mental and emotional.

Yeah, I think a lot.

I'm seriously considering getting my nipples pierced. I was talking to Jason at Fatty's -- where Alicia and I hung out (and gambled some) -- and... I'd already mentioned to Alicia how Danny's said I should get my nipples pierced and I wasn't sure whether he was joking... but I really had no desire to do it. I've always had a thing about hard nipples because my dad always points them out and teases, but it bothers me way less these days. So when Alicia was asking Jason what piercing she should get and he said nipples, I asked him whether they affect the sensitivity. He said yes, and when I asked if it was in a good way, he said yes. Of course, this all on average as always, because everyone's different.

My nipples aren't very sensitive, and I don't like that. Danny's are way more sensitive than mine. So it'd be great if they increased my sensitivity. Yeah... I'm really thinking about it. I'd also consider a tongue piercing because it could be great, and if I don't like it, I can always take it out and it'll heal up really fast.

Only other piercings I'm considering are on my left ear. I have the bar and one lobe piercing in my right, and that's all I really need. But I might get piercings all up the edge of my left ear. I like that off-balance look.

Mmmkay, I'm done.


karriezai: (Default)

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